Author Topic: ... the er ... lent blog 2011(cont'd)  (Read 1073 times)

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Offline ecuworrier

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Re: ... the er ... lent blog 2011(cont'd)
« Reply #15 on: April 07, 2011, 15:35:03 »
 here am i filling in the day....

and i have ended up here again:



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Chz0K8rXkAw&feature=related

it's come via an interesting route....  it caught my attention to listen to this:



i love the didn't it rain... she has a real natural blues feel and then ... the Lord's Prayer something..

via browse round Duke Ellington known for stuff like 'silk stockings' 'satin doll' but he did three 'sacred concerts' attempting to fuse Christian liturgy with jazz music.... my findings on youtube leave me a little underwhelmed... mostly cos of the words...  (the weirdness of the deeply personal of jazz ... and the kind of superficiality ...i have been feeling a little confused cos Christian Spiritual music is alleged to be one of the influences of jazz and yet is in scant evidence from where i is standing)........   it's like the ideas and words are just too big to fit to the richness of the music or the music is just to big to squash into religious .....  or somehting and that brought me here:

the hee the way paved as earlier chatting and complaining about how church just seems to be ''nother place 'nother time  well it's own place really....and what with yesterday bumped into someone who was moaning about 'ive come as far as i can with this church' .. oh no thinks i we've been here before... just cos well we have.... but this time i'm just relaxed... on the one hand i can't be arsed...this is all about what?.... the church? no as i said earlier it's all about the church teaches us to be some representation of churchmanship rather than followers of Jesus... and if we were genuinely taught to be followers of Jesus i doubt that we me and the person yesterday would be yet again having that conversation.... where are you going to go .... i ask as i have before.....  dunno yet.... i say it's all about Jesus it's all about the deepening of that relationship it's all about well i could have said your personal priority but i simplified it to it is up to you... that went down like a ton of bricks... this person has restless feet... and a need to be taken care of all good GOD's stuff it was in GOD's arms having vbeen physically rescued that they found Jesus something of one of those haunting instincts that followed htheir life comeing into glaring brightness.... brill and so long as GOD's arms held them there surrounded by praying Christians they were in home's bosom... but as with all human engineering that didn't last for ever and the being thrown out into the world didn't suit and it all went pear shaped... me i feel weiry.... cos in part i have had the privelege of conversations that the others haven't really heard  and i say this over time consequently i saw things in a different light... but that place they were born into it ....well... is a place to visit giving pointers to stuff but that is it....there is something missing in the engineering of rescue of christians to fit the actual everyday needs of a person....  and we including me are just too far... we want those folks to stand on theri own two paws  and when they appear to show that that#'s what they wants to it all goes flat and lo and behold everyone feels back at square one!.....  and sswearing under one's breath... i have to tell you yesterday i felt ... that would be well a huge relief!!  and immediately though i was thinking oh **** here we go agiain having to pick up the pieces off of the street yet agaIN....  IT IS INDEED CHALLENGING ... THIS CHURCH THING AND HOW TO RELATE TO THE POOR WITH WORDS OF INSTRUCTION BUT WITHOUT THE DEEPER SIGHT THAT god HAS... OH AS I WRITE THESE WORDS HERE AND NOW I FEEL TESTED!.... I AM SICK TO DEATH OF THE CHURCH THAT IS FIXED ON SERVING IT'S OWN INSTITUTION.... BECAUSE ... IS THIS REALLY WHERE IT'S AT ? COS IF IT IS THEN WHAT IS THE CHURCH ABOUT ? RECRUITING ABLE BODIED TO ADOPT A POOR SOUL AND CARE FOR THEM ALL THERI LIVES....  EVEN IF THEY WALK OFF?  SOUNDS LIKE CHILDREN DOESN'T IT... BUT THERE ISN'T REALLY AENOUGH ADOPTEES TO GO 'ROUND AS IT IS.....   AND THENM WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH THESE'POOR SOULS' ALL DAY ... WHILE THEY ENJOY BEING PART OF THERI INSTITUTION AND YOU ARE THINKING ''''''AAAAARGH HELPp GET ME OUTTAGHERE""""" no wonder so few christians ....etcetc....  cos what seriously is our role?

following Jesus ... i seem to remember well you could see the disciples at times as fully incapable need to be looked after lambs i guess... or you could see them  as .. well can we talk of them as being fully Healed... fully heeled perhaps.....but cetainly bodily able ears and eyes intact able to trapse around following The Son of GOD bodily form... moving from place to place!  where the wind blows....  i mean if the pastor adopts a few and actually it's him who looks after the 'kids' then that's a role model isn't it....  or the odd family that tears itself apart and just hangs on.... or adctually manages quite nicely with kids or foster mumnkids and so on.... don't we look on admiringly and nimby away... and don't we well just avoid them like the plague and stop inviting them over after last time and... so on...  and maybe slip a fiver theri way may cbe useful....   vbut seriously what about Spirituality theri Spirituality or mine....   be discipled by the church? it suits some.... but me.....

so what is the main difference between that person and me well quite a lot... i guess i have wanted and looked beyond the church so in some ways it's comp0letely logical for that person to thirst to look beyond the church... at the same time if one can say hey lolook i've been (an Ecclesiastes thing) gone off been here and far and you know what it's in GOD's Presence you find GOD.... like ... well back where you started actually.... but who am i to say that with the journeys under my belt.... that's the bit that matters and that is the bit i can not prescribe for anyone else  TROOLY i cannot!

when i have been to places int he last few years or even occasionally before then to places and.... i have... been in arenas where the folks has a completely different experience whether it makes them more disernably christians or open to criticism from pedants and many others alike.... that's not what.... ok then what is ? i look at you and what do you think i see.... i'm becgining to get beyond frustration and saying ok then what do i see i do see endless fear the church is a body of fear and gracelessness in those choppy waves of chopping down the trees with a blunt ax in order to see the wood to indeed get a cleatr view of the wood... the wood of the cross naked unembarrassed a blank piec e of metal blunt instrument in the library ... while in the garden 'peace.. come with me'... like it's always some place else and yet the starting place is the same one as in peace be with you... my peace i give to you... no questions asked? no questions asked? no questions asked

the singe4r of 'say yes' and yes this is my favorite rendition of this.... makes no bones about it it's a call to those whose soul saysyes whose soul says yes... never miind the rest of circumstances of anything else.... yes! so Mahalia Jackson's Lord's Prayer at the Newport jazz festival... it wasn't that i especially like d the piece of music as a piece of music.... it was there was something that changed in her as wshe settled to start it and the whole audience that had been dancing to the last number just went breathhush still believers and non believers....  to theis peice of reverence.....  wow! and watching them i collected the conversations and had to listen to 'say yes' by shekinah glory..... and the words of the begining ....

worship is extreme obedience once we have given all and say yes...  again that invitiattion and realisation that not everyone is at the same place....  but a call to the soul the soul that wants to say  yes even though it may cost everything that one has previously pinned one's hopes on....


GOD BLESS!

Peace and Love,

« Last Edit: April 07, 2011, 16:43:05 by ecuworrier »

Offline ecuworrier

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Re: ... the er ... lent blog 2011(cont'd)
« Reply #16 on: April 08, 2011, 20:39:19 »
well... here we are again...

i have decided to abandon 'casting crowns' and am now listening to 33 miles... well it's pretty much the same sort of thing... 'Arms that hold the universe'

  so .. what has happened the last two hours... i have written and rewritten about the plight of the poor and the church that tragic position i enjoyed writing both .... but hey Relax GOD is in Control it has though been a time that ... well i have been i feel deep into a place of Beauty and Grace and a sense of the Bible and what Jesus said now why did Jesus not write down what He said but told us to remember what He had said?  i was reflecting on a parable and feeling that hey you know what.... now why did Jesus say that... when people's experience of Jesus for Real was entirely beyond recognition from what he was teaching of the law... so when Jesus says look to Moses look to the prophets... is He (or not) saying hey guys you aren't looking at me are you.... soo pharisees and other churchment of the day past and presetn look to  what you claim to believe in... the written law.. it's all in there.... but what heHe is actually talking about in that parable keeping to the story terms must have seemed very puzzling to people who looked up and thought hey but it is told about You/i saw with my very eyes.....  well if they are anything like me and listening to sermons.... there is a difference.... what does it mean... for us... do we follow our masters or JEsus... but beyond what we read of the arguments what is Jesus actually doing? and why do we not get more of that in Real life ... ? we keep haveing these discussions about what happened in America in the 50s or later... there seems to be a constant flow of focal points there whilst ....when was the last focal point in England...

does itnot reflect the stories of what JEsus  is not actually what Jesus is doing about it doing about anything ... the LAW OF GOD  IN ACTION is at a different level of Love... we feel to be so muddled in church circles no wonder we like Paul cos he actually wrote down some (pretty mysterious it has to be said) letters and yet Jesus says Come to me.... and whne folks comes with arguments oh dear....   Jesus argues but on thsoose levels,... have you ever had an argument and made a point that somehow in the back of your mind you know is completely not the point but you make it anyway and it slaps you back in the face and the person you wanted to do the one upmanship towards ... well ... isn't that really annoying....  that pride and deceitful thing..... that you took a dishonest position... i mean if you didn't know you'd be really humble wouldn't you but you would know that you knew... there is a hidden agenda of entitlement whren that ahappens... a position of falsity is exposed and you oh no not you is havin nothin of it!... with the Pharisees  Jesus He engages but it's not the point is it?  all this legalistic law stuff.... but when He said it is to the point....   i was rteminded of this otherworldliness of hey what would you ask if you met... being in an audience for a celebrity and feeling very aware how difficult it was to find questions that were relevant to this celebrity's expertise .... i mean whay were we there it somehow shos us up ... the questions we ask...  so there's Jesus dealing with terms on those terms? and there's folsak experiencing Jesus in an Amazing sensational never seen before way ... and leaves the question at least!

why ? do we fix our attention like this? church?

and yet there we are enjoying the hubris and at times humiliation of finding out and at times being found out...!!!!

i got told off today... well i wasn't actually told off but something was brought to my attention and it was a slightly weird but at the same time cool to be well to discover some folks has been comp0laining about me behind my back... it does give me some option to think about things and in that i do feel confident.... that that is a good thing.... it also made me think hey folks complaining about me.... well what i was being complained about .... was kindov interesting..... cos i didn't get a picture of who had complained... and i thought .... well look this has happened a few times muyself ... i don't feel to complain about it somehow... why cos what i has done is given it to GOD .... though there was once an experience at a different church where i did raise the issue of concern....and was so upset that i was all set to make a formal complaint but i dealt with it by praying i mean we could go on about this stuff for ever,,,  sayin this sayin that when actually there is a GOD's Project in here someplace.... and when i took that on things started to change!  and in the end i felt this was a much better approach....  and was glad that cos this was about Spiritual matters that GOD was the best person to vomplain to....  this afternoon was thinking .... you know what.... if it was anyone else no-one would have said a thing.... but turning this over in my mind ... i eventually ...smile thinking it an odd sort of privelege to be complained about cos it gave the opportunity to reflect...  which the people i have declined to complain about  don't get ....  i do get the chance to have some general points though .... c

am listening to the youtube mix for Annie Lennox i did complan a little though thinking what it includes


GOD BLESS!

Peace and Love,

hopefully this time!

Offline ecuworrier

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Re: ... the er ... lent blog 2011(cont'd)
« Reply #17 on: April 09, 2011, 19:33:36 »
Acts 4
    31And when they had prayed, the place in which they were assembled was shaken; and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit, and they continued to speak the Word of God with freedom and boldness and courage.

    32Now the company of believers was of one heart and soul, and not one of them claimed that anything which he possessed was [exclusively] his own, but everything they had was in common and for the use of all.

    33And with great strength and ability and power the apostles delivered their testimony to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and great grace (loving-kindness and favor and goodwill) rested richly upon them all.

    34Nor was there a destitute or needy person among them, for as many as were owners of lands or houses proceeded to sell them, and one by one they brought (gave back) the amount received from the sales

    35And laid it at the feet of the apostles (special messengers). Then distribution was made according as anyone had need.

nowe hands up who knows a church community or even one christian like this?....  now hands up anyone who can tell me someone who has quoted this passage in church or even outside to show who we are as christians how we 'should be'? or 'found to be'?

i am on a theme at the minute still pondering the yesterday's missed postings ....

take this for size also pondered into existence today...

here is another:

 1NOW PETER and John were going up to the temple at the hour of prayer, the ninth hour (three o'clock in the afternoon),

    2[When] a certain man crippled from his birth was being carried along, who was laid each day at that gate of the temple [which is] called Beautiful, so that he might beg for charitable gifts from those who entered the temple.

    3So when he saw Peter and John about to go into the temple, he asked them to give him a gift.

    4And Peter directed his gaze intently at him, and so did John, and said, Look at us!

    5And [the man] paid attention to them, expecting that he was going to get something from them.

    6But Peter said, Silver and gold (money) I do not have; but what I do have, that I give to you: in [the [a]use of] the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk!

    7Then he took hold of the man's right hand with a firm grip and raised him up. And at once his feet and ankle bones became strong and steady,

    8And leaping forth he stood and began to walk, and he went into the temple with them, walking and leaping and praising God.

    9And all the people saw him walking about and praising God,

are you getting the picture yet? "Jesus HAS OVERCOME" am just listened to Chris Tomlins 'there is a peace i've come to know' from the ct mix..

yesterday!   i was pondering the rich and poor thing.... did you know that the poor are less likely to come into the church as believers (for all the time the spend hanging around... must be cos they is worried they will have to share... they understand the gospel in truth!....than the rich....   did you know that the only thing holding the rich from new conversion is money... the rich know the worth of money.... the last thing they want to be seen to be doing is sending good money after bad...  the rich are good at shrewd investment... no the church is strictly middle of the road ..  it's like the marks and spencer of .....  well you get the point  out of the reach of the poor  the value and the rich have better plans

and the Gospel is WORTH IT it is WORTH every penny of life the treasure priceless... so why is it we are being short changed or not given any of it...?

well i was completely amazed and amazed and amazed and trooly WOWED by GOD...

here it is middle of the road passage like the pharisees ... this is the level of the written law the written WORD:  try this for size does it fit you? suits you sir?? madam??

Luke 16..

at first i only recalled the gist of the story and thought about lazarus as lepper and remembered we will come back to this (hjold tight yes Jesus is Holding on to you)

 19There was a certain rich man who [habitually] clothed himself in purple and fine linen and [m]reveled and feasted and made merry in splendor every day.

    20And at his gate there [n]was [carelessly] dropped down and left a certain
  • utterly destitute man named Lazarus, [reduced to begging alms and] covered with [[p]ulcerated] sores.


    21He [eagerly] desired to be satisfied with what fell from the rich man's table; moreover, the dogs even came and licked his sores.

    22And it occurred that the man [reduced to] begging died and was carried by the angels to Abraham's bosom. The rich man also died and was buried.

    23And in Hades (the realm of the dead), being in torment, he lifted up his eyes and saw Abraham far away, and Lazarus in his bosom.

    24And he cried out and said, Father Abraham, have pity and mercy on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, for I am in anguish in this flame.

    25But Abraham said, Child, remember that you in your lifetime fully received [what is due you in] comforts and delights, and Lazarus in like manner the discomforts and distresses; but now he is comforted here and you are in anguish.

    26And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been fixed, in order that those who want to pass from this [place] to you may not be able, and no one may pass from there to us.

    27And [the man] said, Then, father, I beseech you to send him to my father's house--

    28For I have five brothers--so that he may give [solemn] testimony and warn them, lest they too come into this place of torment.

    29But Abraham said, They have Moses and the Prophets; let them hear and listen to them.

    30But he answered, No, father Abraham, but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent ([q]change their minds for the better and heartily amend their ways, with abhorrence of their past sins).

    31He said to him, If they do not hear and listen to Moses and the Prophets, neither will they be persuaded and convinced and believe [even] if someone should rise from the dead.

soo still with me?  the rich man wants to return to earth to warn his brothers Abraham won't let him stating it is all in the Law of Moses and the prophets...  hold on  thought there is Jesus warning 'his brothers' in the flesh.....  BUT there is a BIG CATCH....HERE guess what!!!

now if you were sitting there listening and you were well one of the geezers who has just come from listening to this story..... thj4 lepper said to Jesus 'You can HJeal me ... are You Willing?'  Jesus said 'I am willing ' and touched him and he was cured of the incurable that's all he asked there was no interview the one who can Heal did not open court sessions to hear why he got into that state and so on....   curing leppers given the state of the law was a bit like well knockinjg doewn the walls of the prisons or giving the jail keys to individuals to let them out... i mean by whose authority? in religious terms this is shocking... it makes a whole mockery of the law .. buyt that is what Jesus did....  thnat's the lepper

but the guy had sores all over his body.... i not e from the amplified translation above that lazarus had kindov been dumped outside of the rich man's house the man who wore purple... well no-one else seemed to want to look after him... we have no details what had been going on in lazarus life.... but... we do know that in HJohn's Gospel Jesus raises Lazarus from the dead defies the logic of the law defies the logic of His own anecdote defies the logic of the parable!!!!

something else i thought of yesterday... see lazarus was a bit poor a bit destitute... so if for some reason ... the person who's cousin had been  there when the feeding of the 5 thousand had happened.... the parable as a story of logic just don't make sense..... in terms of what Jesus brings to the party about what Jesus DID and the stories Jesus tells to the crowd and all the pharissees and all that these are two mindset worlds apart....  the one is reserved for the peop,e who instruct the peace of the law written down and the other is now who wants to follow Me Jesus mindset?... what Jesus anotates in word stories and what Jesus DOES are distinctly different!

GOD BLESS!

Peace and Love,

so who wants to bring the Peace of the Gospel now?..

Offline ecuworrier

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Re: ... the er ... lent blog 2011(cont'd)
« Reply #18 on: April 10, 2011, 16:11:46 »
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHoQ875Vpn0&feature=related

down by the riverside ... a sense of cool on a hot day in spite of the heat off of the trumpets...

me is well fed up...there are two IT cafes not far from ezch other... mog (seen above) said to me go to this one  ... honestly i prefer the other of the two.... and explained the history ogf the two at least as is relevant for the last years of lent blogging....   well  i say this with a sigh here i am not especially gladly for the second visit in a row.... cos on both occasions the other one as i have arrived is closing either for the day or temporarily... but it is by no means just the hot and bo0theredness of the weather i mean well early 20s? is surely not that bothersome but me i is well trooly miserable!

i was woke up early so i actually made it to church early.... i knew what the sermon was and thought you know what i can give that one a miss.... told you i was not taking lent seriously as our speaker bashjed out whatever words was .... well it finished like.... look you are not supposed to be feeling bad after all that.... you are not condemned something like that ... that is the point of the sermon.... well i looks around me and seems only the pastor seems to think he is not condemned or folks welcome the experience.... it's quite funny though that it's not just me ... mog too just hangs out in the foyer miles away from listening to the sermon we catch the folks lurking skulking ... well today there was a coupla folks making their return... and me i just feel weiry i mean why did they go in the first place... (it was however really nice to see them!...) me i kindov felt ok ... but where was GOD in this?.....  i felt weiry with the sermon i was definitely gonna avoid and it was not difficult....  ok so the pastor looked Holy Ghost radiant afterwards... but hey me i ask was he the only one wot got the thread of his own sermon notes if that is the case then.... what's happened to Holy Ghost Communication is he the only one who is holy in the church?

i said above that i had been told off and i guess i hasn't quite dealt with the object of that other to .. well try to work it all out for myself.....

church was interesting cos well something has been talked about and prayed about behind the scenes and i has only just caught the gist of it.... and now we all gets the gist of it... i can tell a number of hearts fall and mine too....  me cos some folks can't quite get their head around leadership and community and others well cos they don't think too much of the idea....  seems an opportunity has come up for a move of church (yes another one... at least this one is reasonably intelligent .... well it would be if) it would mean moving church from it's current happy place where strangers are not exactly falling over themselves to come into... (though it does happen from time to time).....  to a place of struggle... amidst and amongst the poor.... now me is not overwhelmed by this in spite of my experience of shift in the Realms of Grace....  i is not oveerwhelmed cos well.... our pastor i do not see moving to that area his idea is being in the midst of a Sunday show with the occasional Ministry opportunity that comes his way be the usual way.... and then scuttling away to a safe place to enjoy the finer things in life ... this is an initiative that would have to be led by the c hurch itself t=with the possibility of pastor disappearing off eleswhere at some point..  part of it amuses me cos this is well out of thye reach of the minds and hearts of most of the eldership and would certainly be testing place... me too i feel tested and at the moment of mutterikgns i feel underwhelmed my heart and mind is not there ...it's a good ideaetcetc..

but there i am and GOD says' this is your church'... yes there i am feeling alienated and well fed up
i got troubles of my own that's botherin me


GOD BLESS!

Peace and Love,
« Last Edit: April 11, 2011, 14:43:52 by ecuworrier »

Offline ecuworrier

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Re: ... the er ... lent blog 2011(cont'd)
« Reply #19 on: April 10, 2011, 20:04:49 »
just a few minutes.... while listening to a jazz standard.... that feels a bit weird to talk about...

just Jesus....  feeling challenged... just been talkin about that thing of feeling challenged when it is so much easier to speak these truths into other's lives and when it comes to one's own....  the space the place that GOD has just for me ....that only place... the relax GOD is in control....  cos well GOD has shown this stuff... that if we trust... what does it take to trust in GOD that growing thing...

yesterday street stuff was great the sun has something to do with it... more than that it brings out those prepared to pray on site without being seen or known about ... one the rest knew nothing about ....winter was cruel a very different feel... though we kept plugging away... the sun comes out and the light changes the smiles come out a readiness to tarry awhile...  and GOD turns up..

i have been dealing with a number of issues well not really just aware..... of fear.. of personality of stuff in the way.. well that's a good modern religious term .... that there is stuff in the way of us actually being in communication with GOD stuff distracting stuff that's not of GOD ... that's before we get to obedience... no wonder prophesy is so popular... i mean it shouldn't matter one jot whatever Paul said or saidn't what our foci of attention is if we is in for a penny in for a pound with Jesus in the first place....  trustin that place.... if we feel sure we can trust it that is...  so who do we need to trust? the man who says loojk into my eyes  or that actually we can hear eventually...   prophetic voices those the ones that goes round telling you what to do  without doin nuffing other than telling you what to do? don't you want to punch someone like that?  should one be waiting for the trial and error of waiting for the prophet to turn up and after all would we believe them and especially after all that stuff in Jeremiah or even Moses and Jesus about false prophets... i mean if you can see them coming....  it's an irony really and i would say a symptom of the heirarchical nature of the charismatic church even to consider nurturing of the Prophetic... just simply cos... if you is listening to GOD in the first place then surely all you needs to do is get on with it.... and if you aren't or can't hear GOd then shouldn't you be asking GOD to do something about it or at least trying to sort out your end... and shouldn't the non heirarchical nature of church be considering how best to get everyone with opened ears... so if you is realising there is a person not listening or Hearing GOD then shouldn't that be the objective?... actually does Prophesy the Gift the Gift of Encouragement imparting the word from GOD... make a difference well oh yes it does... but half the time one thinks that's nice... and does not quite grasp the bigger picture that GOD wants a word with you.. that is the impression that i get listening to what is listened to... some chuirches are really encouraging... maybe it's time to disentangle what's rattling in the back of my mind as we is talking about Prophecy....  i think we look on it as words of encouragement sometimes Scriptural sometimes consistent with Scripture word of destiny and direction stuff that has meaning that when we witness stuff we goes wow but what about me or wow but please don't me... and stuff like that...  but me my head likes the understanding of the Prophetic as all that is GOD becoming... in other words here on earth is about to change forever big time ... Heaven onto earth stuff... Power Dominion Authority of GOD and the Effecting of change ... so words of knowledge stuff... like stuff that GOD says that GOD gives the words to say and it happens... so it's not about us other than listeners doers and witnessers... seems to me that folks is all over the place in respect of what or how they listens how they communicates... the encouraging stuff though is vitally important because it sets the frameworks of GOD's Nature that is Spirit Spiritual Love but it also brings forth the person to person of GOD .... here my messenger? no .... here MY MESSAGE..... right to the t word perfect in perfect timing.. this does require listening the ability to listen  to be patient and disciplined like don't run your mouth off....   or the gift of interpretation... well i've had well having had someone give me an image and then get me all worked up ... i had an idea and next time i saw them i asked them could they please tell me now was the object of image ... thus by any chance... and they said yes... well that threw the interpretation of the image ... i remember that... it is interesting that GOD would use pictures in one person's mind to give to another person as a message? cos pictures is well ... surely it's all about the artist as to it's interpretation unless you are really good at interpreting and some are but does it not run the risk of.... well the person with image ..now how do they communicate well what exactly what GOD wants to share... the person's reaction of the picture?....  perfect truth... at the end of the day GOD what did that mean what that person said to me... or do we leave it as hey guys you'll never guess what that guy said to me ....  well eventually .... i am recently quite in awe of these journeys the ones GOD models and hones in us over time.... hopefully until we are ready to... 'there you are! ..' says GOD '..at last!'

i have to say that while i certainly encourage mog and look forward to the next excerpt and i now have a whole 4 'words' to hold forever....  i feel a little help! for myself....  even though we are nudging through the arc of closer listening hearing and all that .. i have learnt i feel a lot of things this last year even about the prayers that churches say for theri own spaces....  whicjh is really interesting ... as i am writing about this i is wondering a little about now where does that line of GOD begin and that human thing well .... well i is still working that out is there a difference is there a contradiction necessarily?  well as i write these words i suspect a little further reflection is required as well as questions of GOD ...

i is struggling though tomorrow is a prayer meeting and i is not looking forward at least at the minute....

.... ah ok so then we ends up with that worship thing ... my heart... relaly struggling with worship in fact i is not sure i is worshipping as much as going through the motions!  i really has very little enthusiasm for mass worship... though today earlier there was a n amazing moment when a song everyone knew was sung and actually  was singing and could really sense the Holy Spirit.... for a while i just did not join in but just listened!....  and grinned  this was worship!


but above all i is struggling with my personality....  me what is where is the me ?  that is not the me that is in the way is that a me ....  well you know more questions than answers

GOD BLESS!

Peace and Love,
« Last Edit: April 10, 2011, 21:12:04 by ecuworrier »

Offline ecuworrier

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Re: ... the er ... lent blog 2011(cont'd)
« Reply #20 on: April 11, 2011, 18:24:45 »


well let's start here: ... a singer admired by course person...

just filling in some time learning fast to do keyboard skills learn somepin and also...  oh dear

well here we is bottlin the bottlin to go to a prayer meeting las t night i was sayin to GOD i don't want to go... but seems i is....  ah the worries... hey that meoosic is compelling...

been explorin the theme of worries and GOD today... you see GOD don' worry about no'thing...  and GOD spends a lot of time in the Bible tryin to get folks not to worry... cos whjen  we worry we go about it by goin down the same ol track and getting a bit mad see....  so you need to shout a bit louder GOD SAYS YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY... the scariest thing about no worries is that you might take your eye off of the ball and then what.... like is no-one worried abut all those folks on anti-depressant medication... i mean does that sort out theri finances? or if they stop gettin hysterical do they go on shoppin spree trips cos suddenly everything is better? look i do not know and don't pretend to....   the mental state of worryin itself does that change circumstances?... why is it when we cry n someone's shoulder we suddenly feel a lot better?  does it help does it change circumstances....   ok what changes actual circumstances...  cos if the circumstances themselves have not changed then what is there not to be worried about...

a changed perspective   that feels different where worries are removed... or the removal of worries takes on a different flow of perspective....   but the circumstances...

i lay on my bed earlier and thought ....  well this could all be simplified.. there was something about this solution that filled me with .... what well something filled me with something... and so there i lay and thought well if then... and then i did the calculated reality.... now that was scarey!!!   actually my simple solution was that crazy solution to wholy trust in GOD to actually place myself in those BIG HANDS OF GOD's  and the weird thing was i was a bit overcome with the oddness of a peace... and then i thought .... how i would detest to have the folks i know yes there is one in particular who seems pretty keen to have no cares about what GOD wants so long as things is neat and tidy and they don't want to look afteranything ... what they gonna do about everyone in reality affected in the scope of their mindset sprinkle a little incense over their head once a lifetime and that suffice... as if they would!!!!!!!!!!!!!   what is it about and yes hands up i plead guilty we is too keen to have stuff so that a whole pile of folks looks sick as a parrot and is thoroughly mis and poorly AND GOD knows what else....   just so we can says 'i told you so!'.....  now what christian .. i see you run i see you hurry off ... the trouble with running is someday one of those bespoke persons is gonna runs after you and then what you may escape but is there not some kindov due there a payment of compensation...  you see i cannot get this stuff to shift off'v my chest... how much i dislike the hubris of the mindsets of them christian folks....  my brothers and sisters them kinsfolks that can scheme and plot everyone's downfall that is not them tjhat is and then run away and blame everyone for the state they gets in... i quite like the model that some seems to feel they has of Judgement Day....   they will get their comeuppance some day... those folks thinks... and i quite like the idea of folks actually finding that Judgement day passage of rite... i was having a reverie on such a scenario about a week ago .... someone a church leader with one such thing for everyone else to look forward you know everyone's going to hell or else theology/theocracy...had just completely pissed me off and not for the first time..  i mean .... like if you only knew if i could only tell you... so i quite liked i had a place to go within the visages of their own mindfolk's scenario... i quite liked that there the court room ... now have you anything further to add to that point... oh now we call the witnesses (compulsory attendance) and me would come in with files that deep files that fat.. they would look across ... with surprise perhaps....  i so prefer the Heaven on earth scenario.... it had better be as good as it feels it shoudl be otherwise me i goes to hell... the more i think about the agendas and stuff of real life christians the less i feels i want to be considered a part of this....  me an GOD well what do You expect that You do such a crap job with the other christians...... so off i march doin my best to avoid all church folks and well livin well livin somehow.....  the alternatives just me'n'GOD  now that feels a thoroughly unlikely scenario reclusive though i likes to be....   

the thing is followin GOD as i found out last year means you gives up your opinion your personal views of everything.....  includin what you think about annoyin christians but you give up your personal views about what GOD wants you to do - Job Filler

earlier today i was slightly bemused about what GOD was up to surely i had some chores i was on my way surely?... GOD had me in a cafe having a slightly subdued coffee with only rags of newspaper to stare at... there was on- like -the last page i get to.... and believe you me when i saw the title of the series i was underamused about to discard it impatiently ...but GOD had me open the pages and found my fascination drawn to an article....  it was about big business and a particular company fairly new and built to bust out in the market... when the recession hit and it found itself swamped with competitors it hired the services of a company to work out how to cut costs.....  the company hired was on a payment structure allied to the amount it was able to save and was forced to work cooperatively with a young i can motivated company.... as i was reading this.... i had an image of a garden well a plant the image of pruning to as they were encourage fresh roots growth....  well that was it... cool huh... reminds me of mog's garden image...  something about that reading and the experience therein did something i tell you!

gottago


GOD BLESS!

Peace and Love,


Offline ecuworrier

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Re: ... the er ... lent blog 2011(cont'd)
« Reply #21 on: April 14, 2011, 18:27:08 »
Tuesday(written Weds)ooh err... stood outside my house and groaned what should i do now... last night late missing out on all the itcafes though one was still open in the end decided to crack of dawn this one of yesterdaythe next day being today of course... as you can see i am bang on crack on time! ... well i had spent enougjh time pondering this...

and yesterday was more present somehow... i mean how should yer average i don't really want to attend prayer meeting go... off with a bang of course.... me pottered along thinking i was really late only to discover my time sense was like half an hour out so ... i arrive early and am having a quiet fag outside just feeling really well a little really oh dear.. along comes the prayer meeting designated leader .. are you coming in ... i said ... well i said what was coming up 'i'm afraid i am... + sigh'.... good start!

so i meander in and there i am in now....   a few folks there....

  ....now the recent history of this meeting is that we have a new leader someone who didn't really spend much time at previous meetings and comes in fresh face fresh ideas etc.... and me i simply does not quite get on with the shift... less cos of the new leader than ....   a new clique appears to emerge ... now me i don't believe in cliques....  especially not in churches in fact am thoroughly not convinced they is ever a good thing.... suddenly folks who has not been to a prayer meeting for some time if ever is piling out of the woodwork and religion is taking over complete with cliquism with the new leader leading.....  but then i don't believe in leadership either... facilitation yes of GOD of course... but the whole inference of man is boss  by GOD's Promises alone smacks of idolatry and well GOD's Promises for one is well... GOD's Promises for everyone innit?...  so there is no heirarchy under this sun....  sooo... what with new folks who clearly
 feels they want to do the church thing with this particular leader but not the previous well is it 2 or 3 even? i slump .... and cause a stir... cos the heirarchical and cliquee nature of the assemblage is not lost on me and the value mindsets that so fundamentally differ from my own in terms both of Jesus and church and society at large .. and me is well someone to be excluded and tolerated and second bested and all that... so when i arrive and listen to the chat my heart sinks and there is room for me to sit apart and so i do .....  this perturbs the leader who then takes issue with this ....  but i point out that i do not feel a part of the social group and that GOD indeed moves me in ....to take part.... which i do sitting with and alongside.... i further point out that it is more comfortable for me that way and that (look if that person attended regularly the other groups they would have seen this phenemoenon was not that unusual depending on the
 assemblage and how i felt ... i mean writing about it implies a purely political perspective but in actual fact it is my spirit that's doin all the sighin and stuff and has me all curled up in a hostile? a protective ball to the side of everyone.... ) and that surely we need to appreciate and accept difference.... i am not one of them never ever will be but Jesus Loves me tjhat's why i am here and Jesus Loves them too that's why i am there.... at the same time they do recognise that i have been a regular attender of prayer meetings for some time previous where they have been pretty informal and a lot of the time not very religious... though occasionally we have had that sort of thing....  anyhows that is the background...

so i arrive in the room ....  a church leader greets me cordially with their back to me.... i slink in and sit apart from the preprayermeeting chat.... which sadly but inevitably starts to push my buttons.... a church leader records how on some sort of forum thing like this they contest the comments of someone they know that is somewhat tasteless....  but the guillotine of good sense and decency falls somewhat when they find themselves surrounded on by friends of the tasteless....  well they are defending the tasteless commentperson... as a human being ... so we get a all gang up in that disgusted of the home counties thing which i find distasteful.... it smacks of hypocracy cos i roll out something that comes to mind that seems akin... maybe the tone of my voice.....  well it goes down very well ... followed by ...  the classic religious christian comment about comparitive poor ... and the comment that makes me incandescent under the circumstances....
 the circumstances being i remind you that only the day before we the people were treated to the unexpected proposal that we should move our church into the heartland of the poor .... the circumstances being the moving in of the cuts and some scarey things in the national press and local papers on all these matters... and there we are gonna just waltz right in there....  (there is a context to this too) so comments coming from people supporting this proposal that the poor of britian are so hard to reach cos they is apparently not poor enough .....  GODincidently a theme on these lijenes...  you see the good old them and us themes of the church .... with its brilliant solutions.... so i briefly explode ... am told i am offensive... (which words surprise me a little) and then retort that i am offended... finish pouring the tea for everyone... hear some more offending remarks on a different subject ... and walk off ..... with my tea...

thinking maybe i should just lea ve....i feel the Holy Spirit... chat has moved... i return ...prayer meeting begins ...  it's really cool... i have no doubt that one or two there find me utterly disgraceful.... my reaction to comments that are disparaging of the poor completely arrogant and ignorant... from christians who are not going to themselves lead the way with vows of poverty hey if being poor is the way to Christ isn't that just easy to implement? i am not taking away from my comments above a few days ago ... it's just is there not something well pretty horrid about the cosy self congratulating christian smug with the good life of the middleincome security knowing there are actually loads of things that constitute plan B to any situation for them anyway....

anyway we had a pretty good prayer meeting in the end and got some stuff on the table in a more reflective manner... about this initiative as proposal and idea that had such an impact on different people... good idea for the hearts of some for the minds of others ... there is a journey in this and me i is left smarting with the effects of hey GOD WHERE ARE YOU that as i said above last time is this the best You can do with a church? but then let Grace suffice


GOD BLESS!

Peace and Love,



ok this was written then....

Offline ecuworrier

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Re: ... the er ... lent blog 2011(cont'd)
« Reply #22 on: April 14, 2011, 19:43:10 »
yesterday...

a song is reminded of....  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Hkakz0jmew&feature=related

this version a typically subdued version by billie holliday...  i once bought a billie holliday album on hte strength of the place she has on people's hearts as a singer.... myself was not that familiar then there was ... that film is it with Diana Ross? the lady sings the blues ... me i can hardly tell how the biography affects one ... anyhow i really could not'get' Billie holliday.... and was a little irritated to say the least at the status she has in the jazz field especially with singers... me i couldn't stand that costant whining

but more recently after hearing some pretty impressive virtuose singin and this christian comes and sits by from time to time the woman noted for her phrasing and expression almost an expressionless expressiveness....  watch and listen to her version of 'strange fruit' afor example and it kind of well for me anyhows makes me want to wretch.....  dunno there's somethin helpless about standin in the sidelines watchin on.....  and findin oneself torn with admiration

hey i feel really cool....

well today...... i has apologised.. for Monday evening meeting..... and feels really humble by the experience....

thinks that song tthe humble king yoju is the god of the humble king... i think that's the bit that did it... the last thing i wanted to do was a apology that was full of crap and lies mentality you know those expeditious .... apologies that we all seem to do from time to time..... just to get the desired effect... me if iain't in the right framework of mind or heart it just all spills out not bvery sorry and highly expeditious ....   so like being forced not just to be honest ... in that blatant kindov way bbut also to face myself and deal with things... and so .... GOD paved the way in that inimitable way GOD has of just nudging oneself to be well honest.... to GOD and then stuff starts to move..... and was well able to take initiative.....  writin this sounds embarrassingly expeditious ....  but in life it was not so.... n and i am greatful to GOD for Grace that surrenders stuff...

there is a kind of bizarre sequence to this... last night i tried to get in to post and found doors all locked up as it were.... so i went and did what i was avoidin doin which was go and watch the footie.... i wasn't that interested in a other than to watch Murinho... i didn't want a drink so jhad a half and sat there with some folks behind me one with a distinctive voice and refreshing knowledge of football bewith a real european perspective.. so i was hearing about the other teams for a change....  anyhows the footie i sw was really dispapointing...  went home was feelin really fedup... on my way i me4et someon i know off to walk the dogs they probs wants some not domestic company so theys takes me with them and we is chattin....i feel embarrassed iu has been watchin the footie and has booze on my breath i afeel very aware....  well they all have been watchin the footiei'm asked about church.... i am serchin words to answer... people huh... the only thing wrong with churvch is there's people in it if it was just GOD it would be fine@   i try to point out thaqt the problem is that wwe don't spend time enough with GOD otherwise wwell we could all ... i feel i am diggin g at myself for my abject failure to stay out of chuch ... well what i mena is surely with all the talk i do then surely what i need ot do rather than wrte about or talk about this stuff is actually to go into social seclusion and stay there....  well last night i ffelt like that and that is after the day before... ah yes footie more themes i went for the rest of the match the night before too.. and o9n my way without having any idea what the score was...  ime i well just quite gaily asked GOD toBless the oposing fans.... which i did with a delight and spontaneous generosity .. which caused me to feel a bit weird to say the least....so i was supporting the opposing supporters?  well in that twisted logic of footbqall i saw the opposing fans as 'the enemy' ...  so when the score on the night was 1-1 (2-1)_ on aggragaTE... ME WHO WAS AT THAT MOMENT HANGIN AROUND SOME OPPOSITION SUPPORTERS... I FLED THE PUB AND LIT UP AND WHEN THERE WAS AN IMMEDIATE SECOND ROAR... .... I LOOKED UP just about.. ABLE TO SEE... WHAT!? MY TEAM HAD SCORED.. I WAS A LITTLE SHAKY AFTER THAT... well i do like my friend there standing at their front door and chattin about  well you can't have lived in a big sportin town and not be well somethin has rubbed off and everyone swears watchin the contest.... there is somethin quite normal about swearin at your favrit players and blessin the enemy then....  somethin christian normal even....  well this is where the problem happened on Monday ... a clash of cultures of value cultures.... and being quite confident in those cultures not really  debatin is this from GOD or what?  it was just people  and JEsus is all we has in common

today has been a bit weird... i was late in and that was cos.... bless the bus driver bless the pelecdetly person wot the bus stopped unscheduled to let them off bless the fact so many folks was inconveninenced and so many moments went by ok i is getting off here too i was not the only one.... the elderly person.... well i certainly recognisec them from streetstuff.... someone who wasw exccentricly walkin around with a big holdall... walkin deliberately and slowly we didn't engage but i noticed and prayed... so when i feels a grab of my arm i was somehow not surprised... GOD appointment...she wanted some assistance to get to where she was gong...a big shop in sight... no soonr have we set out when another mwoman rushes up takes one look at me and offers here assistance.... so we impromptu threesomne walk towards the shop .... i learnt loads from the next hour.. as well as help!... the other woman turns out is someone who really understands these things ... our temporary boss is old and doesn't quite articulate language or words enormously well.... but my fellow helper understands the scheme of things....better than me... we ghave already discovered the purpose of the visit so i offer to go and fetch the goods no... the whole point of the visit is that this is an excursion and that will not do... the boss squeals displeasure at any idea that does not accord her plan.... we ty to find a shop assistant to help with the other part of the plan which is to do the shopping in a carrier bag.....   the security guard emerges and is not happy with this plan or that the very large holdall is going around the shop too....    me i am now the lone lone helper...and me i plead for this dear ol#d lady..... something suddenly occurs to me.... well i think....  the security guard will only let her instating that she has been previously caught attempting to leave the store with goods unpaid for.... oh dea4r... the security guard however agrees to let her in with a carrier bag.... (meanwhile i get to hear of a very rude guard at another shop who had stopped her going in a store cos of ... previous incident?....  oh dear i was left not sure of what was what.....)to use instead of a basket (though the basket i#tself would i think be really complicated given all the assistance she has commandeered so far... so this can't take too lang surely?  ok i agreee to hang out with her... .... oh no.... at the end of this hour i is feelin pretty fr4azzled.... by now i am an expert on the merchandise have spoken to all the members ofstaffavailable as has the old lady along with every shopper in sight... me i is really glad to get out of there ........  i guess i learnt not to take stuff at face value.... to know GOD is somewhere in control.... but the other woman earlier was really great and patient... and i'm sure she was as glad to have left at the point that she did.. if she had known the rest of t he story.....  i did think though.... if i had a mobile phone i could have communicated with the outside world...  but whithout i was left in this helpless buble of GOD IS IN CONTROL like GOD's TIME is perfect .. but not entirely our own....   anyhow that is enough for now

and i finds se3lf with homework which is the how does one deal with the is it a hearing problem or an emphasis problem?  you know when you feel sure someone meant one thing but seemed to say another... or they said exactly what youthought they did and they did not actually mean to say that at all and all variations between that cause so manuy misunderstandings....


GOD BLESS!

Peace and Love,
« Last Edit: April 14, 2011, 19:48:39 by ecuworrier »

Offline ecuworrier

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Re: ... the er ... lent blog 2011(cont'd)
« Reply #23 on: April 15, 2011, 20:24:26 »
i think GOD has been trying to get me to go for some days now  .. and me well have been too scared to....   but finally off i set and arrived for a queue and felt tense and anxious and prayed and then started bolting which continued the whole time  i was well waiting... interestingly i was really hypersensitive to those around me more so than usual what with me praying privately and bolting involuntary folks at first completely ignored me and then one or two did stare at me but without anxiety like it was completely natural to be in the same place as someone bolting... if i had not been so anxious i would have been paying attention and asking GOD stuff and so on.... curiously though there was one woman trying to aleviate the queue by helping with what can be helped and as i stepped forward someone physically rushed before me .. and after that everyone got seen before me.. at first i was a bit well angry and then i felt GOD had something to do with it? ... so settled in with the bizarreness of getting word stuff about the folks round me not just physical reactions.... i looked around me everyone needed help including those that clearly felt they was in controlo even yhough they like me was there cos they weren't .....   anyhows my turn came even though i had to go outside several times cos of the stress anxiety you name it..... acrophobia? .... i found myself in an enclosed space and started to hyperventilate claustrophobia setting in.... aleviated only cos pf the sense of pressure the the anxiety of the thing before me i had to concentrate to make myself understood....the person looking at me seemed really nice that helped me to fumble through words and geta across the reason i was there.... a moment passed and..... what? i could not believe my ears...."Praise the Lord" i cried out loud......  seriously.... there i was almost in tears while ... well i felt aware of the pPresence of the Holy Spirit somehow ... and was able to leave completely gobsmacked and unexpected and infeeling quite incredulous.....  the thing is if i had buckled out earlier and just done that thing of pushing forward demanding to be seen by the othere woman i would have been none the wiser.... and that's where GOD is pretty clued up .... though i expect she would have told me to carry on waiting but not necessarily...

 i left and had to go someplace i could do some worship to give thans..... i had stuff to do ... and then mog came along....   we chatted i told mog of my amazing ... the thing is i really felt GOD was in the House and that there is somehow ... we;ll GOD does some azaing stuff at times just to fix oyour attention i mean... the journey of humility this week has been in the get real sister stakes it has been an explaration to places otherewoise not attended to....   and onece again GOD has said reaffirmed it  matters and God the Father has a plan ... i like those stories of he incredulous journeys the biazrre the well really if i had thought this stiuff through i mean huh that wouldn't have worked would it ,,,, and yet!!!  when GOD runs through his meisterwerks GOD just goes ahead and Does it so....

it's been a real week of humblings tales of humblings and  vulnerabilities... and the options that we do have the choices we amake to be bullnosed and bulldoze through stuff has consequences... i am glad it has made me look at myself.... and i am delighted to see that mog still retains that vulnerability of cherish he is humbled by the cherishing of GOD for His son... and right now i  feel pretty cherished by GOD and for the first time in ages i really really wanted to sing worship and papraise and did!



GOD BLESS!

Peace and Love,

Offline ecuworrier

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Re: ... the er ... lent blog 2011(cont'd)
« Reply #24 on: April 16, 2011, 16:14:52 »
hmmm  today has been a bit full on in a peculiar way... amidst the sense of buzz about how Amazing GOD is still brimming full from yesterday....

i join them for street stuff and find that  i am late and the organiser is out in full today with those well they is well they says but don't seem to be full of the joys of spring the face of religiosity me i tense up somewhat....  i'm here to help out GOD (i thinks me say) and i don't experience a sense of welcome.... or Joy to the World that i believe fervently this street stuff is about.... someone is being prayed for and that is someone i recognise so i joins in .....   mog is out with a word for me followed by another word both completely pertinent those Words we need to remember....

 just a prompt will do

last night... i was pondering something that mog had told someone else as theri word ... it occured to me as i was listening that hey this... the way mog spoke it it was like he was addressing me hey GOD was addressing me ...   i fetlt spoken to this Word as Word kept coming up like it was meant to be paid attention to even though it was the Word given to this person and that .....and there i was kept being told this Word and it was this 'I want you to get into the Word more'   'I want you to get into the Word(s) more' now my reaction to this was a slight cringe .....ouhho religiosity alert.... he means the bible......   i understand that's what mog meant and tbh me there is no way that i is overly reading the bible right now.... i mean i is well me read the bible more....  let's be clear i am not objecting.....   let's also be clear now this is what i felt when i was last told this ... but last night as i was reminiscing on those words .... something happened ..... now the religious person full of faith will tell you that the full digest would take them all the way to the bible probs not then and there it has to be said .. though sometimes any reading of the bible is more tjhan what the christian is fulltiming on.....  but i was remembering what mog said and as i remembered something happened and i understood it was the doing of the Word it was the standing in the Word it was the Spiritual and physical and personal and doing response... and i tell you i was really excited about this!!!  in that moment.... GOD was telling me GOD meant me meant business about being in the Word the act of Receiving 'My Word Promises for you'

that word is perfect... GOD knows i is feelin crap almost unwelcome and mog tells me somethin that has me buzzing and straight to more work... never mind what is going on in the head of the religious person....  someone comes by with some cakes for us... we help ourselves ...me i thinks of breaking bread and says somethin...    me is chewin gum at the time so i search pockets for somewhere to put the gum and then look round for a bin and start towards it i is sayin somethin along the lines of GOD appointment so when no sooner has my gum disposed ... i see someone + dog that my post streetstuff fag has brought me into acquaaintanceship with ... i had previously prayed for the dog .... the dog leaps up ... me i is holding my cake aloft out of reach but dog is sittling waiting...  owner laughs cos owner has just bought some treats for the dog in a bag and tells the dog is really not interested in cakes at all!... well dog is really interested in this one and i laugh sharing a small piece the dog wants more ... haha... i is breaking bread with the dog and thrilled!

Offline ecuworrier

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Re: ... the er ... lent blog 2011(cont'd)
« Reply #25 on: April 17, 2011, 14:50:39 »
Bless the Lord oh my soul

this taize number is on my mind i am even fitting into Autumn Leaves...  i have just been to church... now the embarrassment of it all....   i wake up look at the time ...oh ****.... no time for bus i have to get a taxi to church.... i have the church notices aargh!....   thankfully church has not quite started it is a special day of ... well for more reasons than one!.....   mog gives me a Word about GOD's Perfection in Timing....

i venture to share... this story ....   yesterday i went shopping as i was in the shop i was trying to remember... i know i am short of something...  washing up liquid the previous night i noticed i was oh no low.. so... i return ghome and take the bottle out and put it on the sink next to the other bottle and......   i can do nothing but laugh you know that Holy Spirit laugh.... the bottle on the sink is about one third full!!!!  so nowhere near oh no low!....wow!!!  LORD... i tell this story to someone and kindov expect them ... well what would you think ? i am afterall the only witness ... it is a perfect Word... GOD is in the everyday things

i feel Amazing Amazed worship was marvellous and prayers and Words were wow!... i hang out with mog and receive more Words... here is one we sit and have coffee....   GOD's GRACE IS SUFFICIENT

the day starting this late and this expensively (the taxi) i don't see myself venturing forth to a church that is having a special guest or....??? we will see...

i find myself tested... i see a WORD to give someone and as soon as my hand is on theri shoulder words of Scripture start to pour out and me is well a bit stuck i knows the passage really well but not verbatim off by heart... so i know they knows the words so i stumble through trying to recall all the elements ... i feel a bit shown up by this.... i do not know honestly stuff verbatim even as i am reminded writing about this this is a starter passage to learn verbatim and it seriously well what with all those translation options.. help i am challenged at the moment cos we are encouraged to learn off by heart songs and honestly even the worship songs i have sung many times there are very few that i know off by heart never mind the intricacies of a new(to me) jazz standard along with the intricacies of music

i feel overwhelmed by GOD's LOVE!! GOD's Grace!  earlier there were two young guys all geared out in metallic code on the back of one of them's teeshirt was Jesus saves but... i stopped right there reading ... and prayed and GOD said 'They are in the palm of my hand'  which was amazing and exciting they were around the corner out of view... and no i did not rush after them but marvelled in GOD's GRACE AND LOVE and HOW GOD IS IN CONTROL were they Christians dunno but hey GOD IS IN CONTROL!

Offline ecuworrier

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Re: ... the er ... lent blog 2011(cont'd)
« Reply #26 on: April 18, 2011, 20:28:53 »
hmmm pottering along in timelesness... well not quite ..earlier was pondering my lack of interest in ....  christian celebrations of the death and resurrection the events of Jesus death resurrection and ascension are pretty tightly embalmed in the liturgical calender... did i say embalmed? well yes it wasn't a word i would have thought of to use.....   but now i have there is something kindov well interesting about the notion the death of something of the preservation order on the dead ... something totally human superstitious totally religious it smacks of the olden the religious ages and eras of civilisations come and gone all but... what had the quality of chronos the ability to sit there and mark in the year just by being there.... am i joking.... well no but i am musing.....   AND now i come to think of it am thoroughly fed up .... cos.... well just been nosin in wikipedia to collect the evidence... not the evidence but the tools of discussion......   time factors....  you see... i have as some know been grumbling about  the whole holding up of the Kingdom by the fascination of the liturgical calender... going through the motions then going back to square one....  and i guess at least for a bit there's me feelin well a bit fedup of.... i was amused to find someone who seems to have abandoned lent all together well at least theri undertaking... and though not religious i would have expected them to hold firm ... if i look on at them are they missing out? cos if they is then surely me looking outwards brings me back to look at my self and the answer has to be well yes!.... this has to be the grumbliest half heartedst lent i have had in recent years... and a part of me just don't care! ... but then that same part of me don't care about christmas? well the religiosity i really do not care for...... and here it is right here staring us in the face the proof....  notions of time alone is not the cause but it's how we relate to stuff .... you see that thing about the once and for all timeness bothers me.... the kairos the ( Kairos (καιρός) is an ancient Greek word meaning the right or opportune moment (the supreme moment). The ancient Greeks had two words for time, chronos and kairos. While the former refers to chronological or sequential time, the latter signifies a time in between, a moment of undetermined period of time in which something special happens. What the special something is depends on who is using the word. While chronos is quantitative, kairos has a qualitative nature.[1] copied from the wikipedia entry current for kairos) ... see now that has every meaning of once and for all timeness....   and GOD is always doing stuff to change us once and for all time that's just the average stuff... that is the nature of GOD... and yet... so i don't understand basically ..logically i don't get the attention to the liturgical calender as the be and all... now please do not think that cos the evangelicals put two fingers up to the established orthodoxies with theri flourishing ceremonies that they is any less chronos than those traditions... you see man man's delights and fancies man's culture and aspirations man's comfort zone is all pretty up there in chronos stuff.....   and the church is no different.... you see atention to stuff (no disrespect to those who has families) but the mentality of getting married is just well chronos having children is just chronos orientated and there half the time is just about where the average churchperson's er Spiritual interests wane out... whereas the kairos of experience of GOD is pretty exciting and full of real unknowns ... no bungey jumpin is chronos you gonna do it again (or not) same difference.....    and there must be something about the death and Resurrection that one time event that remains ONE TIME ONCE AND FORALLTIME like something of GOD has flicked a swithc all that was has been disturbed for us to find out what really GOD is about... so the liturgical obsessive time keeping is like an annual pilgrimage peering over the grave stone doing some gardening perhaps... and yet the attention to kairos has been left to the tending of chronos... there must be something in there .. the church gets lost in and yet and yet..... i mean what's the point of promising living waters the eternal  whast's the point of talking about living waters when all we can think about is well that thought or that thought even and then we must get back to that chronos.... me i feel i am being tested being propelled along held bck by my insistence of culture of chronos and oops there we go... we don't really go anywhere but that i feel being propelled in my belief in my expectancy in my well come on let's be clear a pigeon that i don't know if it was the same one or the washing up liquid... look me i is a scientist and all i can say as i shared the washing up liquid with someone yesterday i started by saying i don' know if i should be sayin this cos afterall the measurable evidence after the event.... cos like could i has got something completely wrong .. i certainly has been examining that bottle for certainty and stuff... but the thing of belief the acceptance of what.... i feel the ground is breaking through... and so chronos the site of not believing cos though wanting to believe.... slowly becomes.....  breakthrough ground of GOD doin that 'kairos' stuff now that excites me ....  the attention to chronos though it don't do nuffink for me at the minute ... but still there is something that i cannot deny has value certainly in the chronotic(?) state it has been a place to look to in expectancy of seeing the presence of GOD and the experience as such!

and that's where the church comes into it innit somehow... well somehow

GOD BLESS!

Peace and Love,

« Last Edit: April 18, 2011, 20:35:40 by ecuworrier »

Offline ecuworrier

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Re: ... the er ... lent blog 2011(cont'd)
« Reply #27 on: April 20, 2011, 00:48:26 »
jazz  the walk along the street to here ... the end of the show ... walking along somehow jazz lines .. passing the people on the end of their dreams tethjers to all the themes of hopes and loves born won and lost all the sewer stories the late night jostling for position on a dance floor far and wide from well everything sanitary... and a spirit of life just pouring out and play it again pouring out .. make a hole and make a wish sleep on the sound.. and darlin tomorrow will seem well new again... it doesn't look like that and yet the street i walk down isn't that different from what one imagines the streets where the various venues set in bordellos and seedy night clubs the only places that would have black folks playing to white folks that edgy reality of the divide from stage to audience...  audience to stage .... it's quite amazing really if it would be just that the divide were about beauty of reality that worked for and that worked at...

it's been an interesting day.....   and i am slumped on the awkwardness of .. ok i wanted to ask one of the performers the name of their song oh and throw in one that was sung some time back now....  whilst waiting for the window of opportunity.... oh dear i guess i don't play the game easily of deference and it shows in case you haven't seen already.... not that i've been rude mind on the contrary just absent far away avoiding the local star... cos well paths just do not cross....  no need to... no it's just that while i was waiting i was standing next to this guy and so i started talking and then was well too rude to leap out mid sentence as person made a quick exit ..... i guess it left me feeling self conscious.... a guy not long ago was talking about the importance of social skills ... and me i is busy blazing over the bar unnecessarily?... well not exactly they might see me as nice and what happens next time when i am not?  i don't get this ... i can almost have a sense of the fury and brutality of the person who threw a cymbal at the youngster who had practised hard and there they were playing the one song they had practised only not in the key they were playing and ... well ... bang came the cymbal.... that kind of bonding exercise uncouth but a lesson in enlargement of well everything.... i am finding things all weird at the minute and feel all at sea..... i have a chat about stuff ... nothing is well anything at the minute i feel so removed and yet GOD is in control and i am lost for learning the unlearnt...  as a precision of guidance of the well i am avoiding the practice....

i had a conversation earlier on the strength of .... some words on an app....   holy place....   so i ended up chatting about the division of church and non church.... as lost opportunity.... i was trying to guage the person i was talking to who did not say they did not believe exactly if anything they appeared to own the church while there i was busy defending folks from keeping out of the church.... well then they came up with this story.....: once upon a time they were in an acting troup which actually was a christian troupe putting on passion plays.... and when they came to a church to do the play they were invited to tea and dinner and Jesus was well well looked after.... the way the play was being set up was that the person playing Jesus was made up and the actors would beat up Jesus who then would appear in the back of the church and sit next to whoever in the backrows which could as often as not be the folks who had earlier been such magnificent hosts with all the make up and the change of garb the hosts didn't recognise this character as anything other than some hobo down and out and who knows what else coming into the church and cringed and ignored .....   to the person playing Jesus this was quite shocking... and i was told that... these people believe in the second coming of Jesus ... they have no idea what form Jesus would take for all they know Jesus could come as a downandout... i smiled at this in part in part cos they truely were shocked by this not just one off experience... and in part cos Matthew 25(i had to find it) the sheep and goats passage came to mind.. but the person i was talking to was shocked  ...me i didn't say anything except to tell the experience i had had of my visit to a church when i was begining my voyage  and finding myself watching a down and out druggie being politely removed from a church when i was kindof expecting some amazing fireworks ... lost opportuinity you see... ... they commented 'well we are all human' and i said 'i hear that all too often i'm afraed'....  end of the conversation....

you see, and maybe this is why it is so important to me.... that was my experience.... and at the time i was shocked and did not go back....  i din't know what to do  myself... but i knew that i expected more .. that was before i had the Gospel stories before me and could then look up and see the folks at the front and say but where are the christians? i could not see the similarity between the folks anecdoted in the Gospel stories as followers of Christ as they were in person following Christ and the persons doing the wall hangings in this church or that one or the one after...  should i be angry or is the but we're all human enough to be going on with and i should have some compassion patience and understanding instead of fury... or treat it all as a bit all irrelevant if you are not  yourself blahblah... i think i am just seeing a part of the shock that is intrinsic to my experience of everyone and everything.... and it is a deep rooted anger?  but let us be clear it was me who wanted to come into community with christians and what else was i gonna do? be amongst my fellow travellers .... could i have been the wiser ? well i did get a free bible out of it ... which enabled me to read for myself like any good protestant has cause to... but once one has read for oneself what then....

we were examining after a fashion why church attendance was so low... and is it really to blame the people within the human organisation for not doing what? reading the bible enough? not being Jesus enough? me i pointed to the first world war .. at the back of my mind i was thinking about the persecution of lutherans thousands upon thousands of german christians were caused to flee from britain so i am told a rather minor story not to have been told.. maybe significant as to something that was going on perhpas... but me i went on about the impact of the war on folks the deep impact on communities as those who fell are listed in every village.. but not the wounded who had to be looked after... suddenly war was not too lovely.... church attendance dropped.... yet who was preaching teaching against just war?..... i found that the most christian soldier leader of all was Ghandi ... and then i talked about the 'lost opportunity' that is the Gospel... ie not a Gospel that blames the people till they repent no the Gospel that is precise and Jesus Lord that sets free and does everything that says on the tin


GOD BLESS!

Peace and Love,

~Jesus is the Lord tjhat Saves and that surely means more than

Offline ecuworrier

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Re: ... the er ... lent blog 2011(cont'd)
« Reply #28 on: April 20, 2011, 18:06:11 »


i found this clip a few days ago and then researched about Ella Fitzgerald there is something about her singing that is just wow.. well makes you want to curl up like a little dog and sleep under her chair or something....  so when i researched what was i expecting? well something of a Spiritual background or something... but no nothing of the sort .. you can check out wikipedia for yourself....  if in doubt... and yet one of the most enduring sounds of LOVE and PEACE in jazz is recordings of her singing (along with some remarkable singing of all sorts of exploration of the jazz form)  this song itself is one of those anomalies out of the broadway show tradition of song writing the rest of the show is largely forgotten/forgettable even... but to the surprise of it's writer this number became a pop hit ... the standard is only the chorus but there is a verse too....  though my poor brain wonders how you can have a verse and a chorus anyhow... i'm going on about this needlessly i feel and it is only relevant in so much as i have this knowledge cos.... i was hit by surprise today not too long ago... i visited a church i haven't been to for ages... so GOD thought it would be a good idea i was reacquainted (GOD is like that!) and so he sent his messenger to remind me and this was where i was between stuff on my jazz stuff voyage and so maybe it was completely fitting that.... when the CD came to a stop in the church there was indeed a tune wondering round my head and it kept coming back so persistently so i sang it audibly feeling a little odd but from start to finish.... it waswas the missing verse 'Time and again i looked for adventure ... and so on....' now don't ask me why but i just felt this was silly ... there were three people apart from me all old enough to possibly find this familiar.... but hey... no-one commented...

now let's backtrack a bit... i was having a coffee trying to sort my files and suddenly i remembered the church and when i rememb ered the church i thought hey gotta turn up and see if.... and on my way hey that church has got a piano wonder if i should could.. well if no-one etc.... i wanted to check out some chords so i thought i could at least do a bit of that without being a pain they are pretty laid back.... but walking through the door and somehow it was like time stood still no it was like time had walked backwards...  of course me being not in the lent frame of mind was a bit shocked to find activity beautifully and fragrantly setting up the garden of Gethsemane... how daft is that of me.. so no jazz standards here then not today but i was struck by the Presence of the Holy Spirit... the liturgical music the something of GOD and the devotional activity... i felt self conscious... 'how are you?' i feel defensive.... like at the weekend someone who hasn't seen me for ages asks 'how are you?' peering into my face and me well peers back well... says i....  how are you speaks volumes the shared experience of something of Jesus i don't feel very near how far? (some words from How high the moon) never mind the distance of not having seen people who i care about... i feel i am in the middle of an argument with .. we only ever have arguments with GOD but sometimes folks gets in the way and we forget who we are addressing our energy to... like who is gonna give the bestest most Amazing response...

GOD has been busy... the feel of the church is as i was promised gonna feel different.... there is indeed a different flavour.....  some physical changes for the better?...  well symbolicaly yes... some new furniture changes the status lifts mere mortals from the trappings of commonality and sets apart.... well tbh it could have gone either way i mean doing away with the pomp and cermeony of new chairs to impress the bishop? in the first place would have been an option... there are some new stations of the cross new artwork which is interesting.... the artist takes different perspectives and the result is a melding with aspects of the bible the Gospels which is kindov well interesting cos it forces one to think about the complexity of the crucifixion and the fallible role of man it gives a sense of horror! it really is clever and impressive cos here i is talkin abouyt it sorry can't locate the work on line... but it takes this slightly laughinga GOD's cleverness person into a place....  ok me i is kindov holding back ....  but it reminds me this is Holy Week

but GOD has not finished first of all a sweetener ....  chatting about street stuff .... religious person/Spiritual person asks ab out it how is it received .... ianswer ..mixed but it's like a church without walls and GOD brings the Appointments the conversations even the folks just passing through ignoring us all .... we ask for Jesus Presence...  i am aware of someone else behind this person come to pray kneeling...  i have prayed for someone here before long time ago and i notice that they are looking great! i hear the update ... GOD is absolutely Great! at finding ways where us we is absolutely abject with our linnear response... treatment for a different condition has sorted the symptoms  in the meantime wow thankyou Father!   a while ago i was there and ended in what appeared to be a brawl... of sorts
i think everyone was a little rattled.... but the person with whom i reminisce seems to be cool about it ... i felt it was GOD at the time .... and afterwards of course one is not quite sure!.... but i get an update of the other person....  which seems an interesting journey .....  and we agree that GOD does stuff and sometimes it is a bit untidy but all you can do is step out in faith.. and i am reminded of a fictional? work is it fiction i wonder... the story chocolat the film the scene where the mayor is at the end of his tether in judgement of the attitude to fasting in lent? is it can't quite recall ... but i do recall the person hearing GOD say go and do this so they go to the little chocolate shop and smash the door down? and taste the chocolate contravieining abstenance and then somehow fall over and fall asleep cos these moments can be pretty energy draining and then met with Grace....  like GOD's plans are always full of Grace...


GOD BLESS!

Peace and Love,


i get to say


Offline ecuworrier

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Re: ... the er ... lent blog 2011(cont'd)
« Reply #29 on: April 21, 2011, 21:04:53 »
i feel a little blessed that i have ended up starting again with this!



the day kindov started with what sounded like an invasion of bees it was one large dark with pletny of pollensacks trying to get out that is until i helped then what with all the windows open it wanted to get back in! now you know you are full of hte Holy spirit when.. you tell bee to go out in the Name of Jesus and it flies in the opposite direction ie towards me... hey was i the good guy the bee wanted to make friends with?...  eventually it went and still tried to sneak back in... by thyen i was well and trooly feelin shaky and unspiritual...

the music... well the video actually!...

we were honestly list4ening to Jesus Culture and then i had an inspiration i watned to share a piece of jazz... that somehow spoke of GOD speaking a direct and loving gift of love... so then they wanted to share something and i was at the controls so my knowledge of madonna is very small (the dj looked exasperated mnay years ago as i made a request for 'some madonna' apprently he'd been playing it all night... oops!)... and i saw 'like a prayer' and clicked and we both watched i grinned to see the woman lift Madonna my companion said nothing but somehow objected to the black jesus....    and off we were on a freedom frenzy of our respective nostalgias... i learned some new madonna Confessions on a dancefloor me i wallow in this early stuff... someone else came in and they told how (and this as good as happened to me) as a New Born Again Christian they heard 'like a virgin' and burst into tears .... the words of that song 'touched for the very first time' ... a curious moment of the day was listening to 'justify my love'.... i was listening to this with  like me a long unattached but a hettie man who 'you listen to this where!?' the day was full of surprises... having previously pretty much exclusively listened to  this via the environment of the disco so loud background noise and poor sound systems i was in for a surprise ... there is lots goijng on in low level noise on the track!///.. it was indeed an odd sharing of experience... listening again later on my own i became trooly intrigued... there was that word 'burning' to justify my love... it is a real get under your skin from a very deep place  piece.... there was something about the burnin though it made me think of the blaze of GOD.... fire and GOD and some will connotate the place of hell and that whole burnin theme goes missin straight to a place of pass me by....  the Fire in the Baptism of Fire that John the Baptist alludes to Matthew 3 intrigues me....   and charismatics are i believe split as to whether they want or feel about the notions of fire on the lips of christians too much fire and brimstone stuff from rumblin men of persistent thunder.... perhaps?  but i love that word burnin.... what is it about madonna the icon that makes iconoclasts of us all... but particularly she does us christians in for the mixing of metaphores so do we are we allowed to like madonna or not!.... listening alone i catch the depth of the phrases .... i heard a church leader not long ago talk about their experience of the Holy Spirit falling when madonna was played (some tracks i suspect!)  i smiled the Touch of GOD truely marks out the momentsof lyrics embedded in well actually whatever but playing run away games with religious experience but the ever presentness of those ..... runaway from.... wikipedia tells of an A student who was always getting into trouble for precocious and wild child attitudes... at home too given the birth responsibility of raising siblings after the early death of mother and all of them rebelling against the replacement of the woman's role with housekeepers....  etc...  a necessarily spiritual name which she keeps it's her mother's name madonna.... beauty and innocence  but what's in a name something to hang onto.....   ok here goes i am gonna hang out a notion.....  it's the notion of intimacy.....   the intimacy of GOD an intimacy with GOD.... that she somehow does better than many cos there is something tasteful in the dispatchment of art that is singular an aesthetic that she has played much with over her career shocked and beheld .... something that where she even has borrowed deferred there is a detachment of beauty.... and in that a clarity that references a deeper escapade with GOD the potential for that....  i was reflecting earlier how as christians we hate the exhibitionism (but watch it?) the adventure of those who say hey there must be more than this... this sitting on pews silencing your confession ... now i have no idea what has actually gone into her song writing and it's not that i'm going on but the interfacing with Faith effect... as a disco person i found at times her lyrics a bit to in yer face that if you actually listened to them you felt got at  in a place you weren't expecting right then and there....   her music at times flimsy.....  her image just too well something but here i am today thinking GOD has got some mileage out of that.... and who actually are we to judge?...... in fact what is it that distances us .... i was wondering if it wasn't that actually that we are so preposessed with being non entities that what upsets us most is actually something deep about Christ... you see Christ is nothing of boring Cjhrist is getting out there being deeply intimate with folks getting deep under the skin deep to the soul ...  and that get s to us Christians things that do change us and seeking to be changed surely is what our deepest soul is needing and instead what we get is a contentment with filling in forms and dong the right thing and staying at home .... where is that sense of adventure beyond a sense of voyeurism.... that being changed cos we has given everything we has got to be where we is.... and i mean everything...... justify my love.....  the burnin the Fire that is on heat for more Fire do you think GOD is dry and stay away and loves to pat his meek and mild children ... meek and mild by good christian standards that's generally balloney... this is about the Fire of the heart the Refining of gold and silver the gold of alchemy no not as a philosophy a secret society or schemes of man but that deep intimacy that transforms for ever .... yes the foreverness of transformation the burning off of the chaff on the floor of the barns......   a GOD of LOVE that burning intimacy.... justify my Love... we want Jesus to justify our love whilst Jesus wants us to justify His without the ramifications of ... will He won't He no He Does He cannot help himself   ....the lust of our souls the groaning of Creation heard on High

but the touch of GOD shifts the understanding of words...  GOD's Language and the Power of GOD brings shifts and gear sticks and cogs and wheels in that do something to one's understanding, to  one's response ...  and something that is intrinsically murky becomes a message of truth... GOd does not need the complete sanitisation of speaker or writer to achieve this just your personal attachment to the Holy Spirit... 
another investigation happened ... all this talk of the Spirit Falling and me i investigated another piece of music....  where the Spirit fell in reference to :

i'm crucified crucified .... the song is called 'crucified' and it was me gojgn glbleaugh!! involuntarily splatt all over the bar as i ordered the next round ...  it was a gay bar i was meeting friends had decixded i was not going to talk about church or anything for a change.. and the evening was really weird and restless we'd moved tables three times for one reason or another when there is was at the bar and the dj played 'crucified'.... and i remembered the dance floor and something of well .... i danced the crucifixion i guess for want of a better description at a time where i was gettying bored with the same old music and the new ones didn't do it for me well this one did somehow.... something of the spirit yearning for a Spiritual past a specific kind of sense of detachment at a time of some sense of despair and restlessness.....  and here i was now sitting with friends and splatt on the bar ... it was the Ho.ly Spirit it was totally involuntary no words as such just jbleaugh... so i ventured to ask the dj about the song ..... and the whole atmosphere of the evening for the venue as well as my night out changed...

i'm crucified crucified by my saviour....

the band is called the army of lovers... and wikipedia suggests there are way too many descrepancies to give toio much away and i have chosen not to post a link cos the video is well hmm.... but they seem to have a nuymber of kindov eurocharts numbers and some of the videowork is a bit well... i am intrigued they clearly have some biblical referencing.....

but there is ... something truthful about those words..... is this a straightforward rebellion that a number of pop musicians whos lifestyles are apparently far from the squeaky bums on seats brigade there is a stretch of imagination that has to somehow sit search talk about religious or the bible.........

there is clearly some gay themism going on there with the image of that group  .... and a definite exploration into themes and exposition of decadence and is perversity the correct description  who knows.....  the whole idea of being crucified by the saviour though is stark ... i hadn't quite picked up this entente on the dance floor........  there is something quite helpless in the song for all the sense of the upper classes who course are agenda setting!......  but i tell you as time runs out here for now.... ther is something about the religious attitude that gives with one hand and takes away with the other... ~Jesus does not do that Jesus Gives with both Hands....

but the crucifixion it was engineered by the people  of the church..... GOD said... i will take out my shepherd..... Zechariah and GOD showed his Hands upon the by right jewish and the non jewish....  GOD's own people all the people GOD owns... complete disaster?  how can one have this role of crucifixion? how can it be? how can my saviour do this? why are we doing this time and time again..... now if William J Seymour had been gay and out about it would we have a black pentecostal movement he wasn't known for it so what?.... if the first slaves to be reared up in a church  had been out gay would there have been a black church movement?.... we'll teach you but you have to stay out of our chuirches you hear!.... i can ask this question with the surfacing of gay folks and many grown up in church environments why is it there is no enormous church movement happening.... why is it gays say thank you very much but no thanks we'll manage ok for now with the exceptions being the mottly sundries that pile up on sundays cos they aint got a better gig to go to... loved by GOD but not on those terms the terms of religiosity and lovelessness..... it's nice to sit in the quiet....  why do we want to sit in religion.... an important distinction probs is ... recent themes of why they didn't come out earlier apparently cos they didn't want to upset mother ,,,,   the gay community is largely a community of peers a community of children in effect many of them orphans a bit like street children they make theri own rules they gotta play by some sort of strategy some sort of survival some sort of ideas of giveandtake...  whereas the afrocarribean community of the west was a community of children and children's children and there was ownership issues of all sorts of generations and the like so there was the groundwork the buildingwork of church communities something to build and pass on with your hands.... should gay folks approach all this with well what where does it have relevance something to leave to your partner or your children.... the needs of gays as christians is perhaps different though the need for someone to save and rescue is as pertinent for gays as anyone else....  i am in some ways ignoring the gays who are in the churches anyway at all levels of service in some environmnets with histories of closetting in some ... i recall a conversation i once jhad with a vicar who was not out to congregation but had live in 'lodger' i was quite shocked when one of the facets of that person's life was that actually they did not actually have any family members live to call family so where would they look to ? i mean in normal life in chuirch this person had a whole family called the church..... so gays have been smuggled into the church and they have gone there anyway and they have had ups and downs so no need for a separate church?  or does the dancefloor suffice still the confessional?

anyhow what a day for crucifixions and complexities and yet JEsus has been ... i listened earlier to a prophetic word i was given which was recorded about two years ago.... how i have changed you have changed says mog that's GOD ! but some of the affirmations over the last few weeks have been pretty amazing cos they are reminding stuff....  of that word.. a kindov sigh though cos i feel i has not changed a bit!

.... me i is just getting used to this ongoing theme of the adventure of GOD a BIG TIME ADVENTURE


ah yes what happens when you add a tiny bit of Faitjh with a VERY BIG GOD? ...... a very GREAT RESULT!

GOD BLESS!

Peace and Love,

 
« Last Edit: April 21, 2011, 23:10:48 by ecuworrier »