Message #825

[ecuworrier]

Even when I was a 'born again', all those many years ago, in the back of my mind there was always doubt. When I could no longer keep the doubts at bay my faith slipped away.

Bless you!

doubt is very real... and the question is what does one do now.....   it's such a lonely place.....   i think sometimes we really just want to be part of something so when stuff doesn't pan out or meet our reasons for being that place or that position or that commitment then well where do we go with that...  i feel very lucky to have had so many obstacles so the whole commitment thing has had to be a personal one....  as far as the instution called church is concerned that is hardly something that rates highly enough for me... as for being 'born again'... i was listening last night to a born again christian ... how did we know we was listenin on the radio to a born again christian ... well she introduced herself so... and something about the way she spoke about herself and with sureness of foot about the reason she had phoned in ...made me glad for some bible bashing atheists who came on afterwards and  who made a whole lot of sense...  about Grace of the Spirit and GOD and all that....me i listen to the question 'are you born again?' with abject horror... cos to the born again it should be perfectly obvious to the not born again it should be perfectly obvious......  so the question is futile and is a disguised wquestion do you belong to my church and the answer is probably no but by default of Jesus cos Jesus has so many default positions that challenge and hone us...  to me born again is not a label we can carry for ourselves... born again is a state of freedom born of an errefutable encounter with the Holy Spirit... GOD has many ways of achieving that same result ie you sign up ... when actually you been signed up for you without your permission even it's plain as day statement of fact.... what i have marvelled at and as i been on this walk for some time one sees stuff recognises it ....  there is a 'no faith' position to faith....  and it's the place of disbelief.... now as far as belief is concerned i believe in being convicted by the Holy Spirit... it is not some arbitrary position of judgement afterall we can't see what we are believing in all the time but being born again brings us into the Supernatural Realm of sightedness...   (you can look at the descriptions in the Gospels which completely fascinate me .. i do suggest reading in the Amplified translation .... passages like the Baptism of Jesus in Matthew 3.....  John 3; 4 and so on Mark 4-6 Luke 10 stories that make the whole thing of Revelation something that is there for the taking but we can't control ourselves but somehow Jesus makes accessible to us)  it changes us and we are aware of that.... for every step we can step forwards indeed quite often many of us find ourselves a little overwhelmed and start stepping back to where we had terra firma a bit like walking down the slope in a swimming pool....  the place where we were though is us of old and sometimes the place of i don't believe cos i have not seen is all too stark a reality and it doesn't half feel foul and the church on the whole is absolutely crap at helping or sorting stuff out for the one who is feeling a little overcome... look i can't live your faith for you and you can't live anyone elses ... that is the first point of liberation and it's not down to you as much as it is down to GOD and there is that mysterious offering we use the word relationship that gives you the absolute certainty and permission that you alone  can indeed walk right into the throne room and have it out with GOD .. whatever it is... and that's all there is to it for all the dressing up and dressing down that the church and its religious folk gets up to

look the one hope i have for you is that you find that Peace that Peace that gives you a sense of homeness

when i found that.....  it completely undercut anything i had ever known and it continues to......  it had indeed found me under completely erratic and completely unexpected circumstances but the moment it all made sense now- ... i knew i was home and was glad to be .. and for all that the church and other christians completely blind us with the science of their planks .. no-one can take that experience from me the experience of GOD's LOVE the 'i mean business with you' Peace


like when in a game a really loving father/ or loving other trusted bigger person (than myself) says.... ready or not i am coming.... that hide and seek experience 

GOD BLESS!

Peace and Love,