Message #185

[ecuworrier]

ooh errr....   why not to go to church!!!

church with GOD's prompts....  cafe church me and Bible and thinking about the readings i am doing and feeling pretty tearful and all that! the one thing though during this time that really fixes me with GOD is this...

i am musing on one of the people here listing a few characteristics about them ... and thinking about this and thinking now what would i put? the words come up like this:

"i'm Baptised .... Baptism is Heaven sent.... GOD BLESS YOU!" what else can one say?... well this reminder really sorts me out! it means a whole lot of things.... like well... probs will come back to this!.. in essence though it is me standing up for GOD standing in GOD is a whole dimension of realism.... you see GOD DOES NOT MAKE MISTAKES.... these few words are somehow better than church they say i belong to JESUS and that is that!  i belong to Jesus not because i think it's a good idea but because Jesus GOD the Father thinks it would be a good idea and GOD the Father has the Best Ideas!  ...  so can't quite frankly argue with that can i ? can one?.... and that is the Power of Baptism...

but hey why am i struggling so much with others who have been called... well quite simply (since we are starting afresh) cos they don't half talk a lot of tosh!!

here's an example ... i have just been to church ... one of those services where there are a lot of currently really disadvantaged people and ...now i can only ask the question... would they be there if it weren't for the grub? and you know what i can't really answer that! so i'll leave it as a question....

i am later than i expected ... well i am still on GMT technically...   and walk into the end of the sermon..... a short talk in this instance told by a practising sermon taljker.....   i walk in and there is something a bit weird about the atmosphere without anyone saying anything (as well as the Holy Spirit being around) .... and i lean on the wall at the back ......   dunno what the talk is about but i can sense this talk is a pushing the boat out talk.....   and it's inviting folks to repent to say sorry to Jesus for their sins...........   oh dear already i am crumpling with embarrassment and just want to leave ... this just is not my theology or my understanding of theology or how to address these folks...  and i'll explain why:

the use of the word 'sin' in the plural is a religious term. In ethos and implicit understanding the plural form reminds and reflects on the 10 commandments and all that came off of it.... in other words 'the' list of rules that exists for the mind to grapple with and to reflect on from the heart? religion debates these rules endlessly with it's adherents ....   but this arrangement predisposition and practise fundamentally reflects the precondition of the person for not engaging with GOD in the first place.... and i refer you to the book of Exodus to see for yourself... (the smoky mountain scene with Moses tramping down the mountain carrying the tablet...... )  you see Moses didn't need this and they were not written out for Moses benefit but as a stop gap for all those who wouldn't be seen dead in the tent....  you don't want to see for yourself ? you don't want to recognise for yourself that 'I want to Circumcise your heart?' and then you cannot stop relating to Me and all the decision-making you will ever have to do exists in your having the rule book in it's entirety encased deep within your soul and all you need to do is ask The Lord for affirmation....  direction Comfort Guidance......   the stop gap is to keep the relative person out of relative mischief while they is getting to the place where they can for themselves make that step to say yes Lord i do want to engage with You freely ..... Praise the Lord!!!! that relative place (may well be the pristine picture for your peers)  but it is as near as it is far from being unsinful... it is by default a natural and logical 'sin' position.... it is a position of not directly engaging with GOD with all the pitfalls of trying to second guess preempt what GOD would do say or actually wants out of any situation for serious consideration as well as trivial... i don't know if i am making myself clear here as time is beetling on so summarise:

talk attitude philopsophy of 'sins' ... is religious talk .. so if  you bow down confess and so onetc to this one (and please don't think i want to interfere here too much it has it's place ... sometimes of course it does.... ) you are engaging with religion and every religious person will rejoice! and you will (i hope) feel a lot of relief for doing so!

but what about the Father's step? that eager wait to see your face searching His 'Face' anxiously... to see....etcetc... now that is growing up!

sin is the singular term for no matter how hard GOD tries you keep turning your face away it's not about what you have done it is about what you are doing ....now! and you don't need to jump no hoops for anyone though you will be jumping for joy!!! when you see there!
not talk of sin but GOD showing up is Scripture! is the law of GOD

it's a place of beauty and Grace... so how can we expect to get there if all someone is getting us to slip through all the hoops?  well sometimes GOD shows us not to be afraid to try... but then no help from us.. GOD makes us GOD's story... and that's where logic ally things can become confusing... on wonder it's so much easier to tick box confessions  in the hope of love... regardless of whether there is the remotest possibility based on true life experience of anything else///  GOD makes fools  to confound the wise  or are we just not getting ti in the first place

then...

i am aware of some pretty odd vibes going on....

but venture to chat with someone i know.... they are quite the elder statesperson within a setting and worthy of respect and some admiration.... however brat Christian that i am .... i can't help thinking of them as theologically fuddyduddied... so i guess it's my own fault... they've been away and now they've been back i wanted to catch up on shared experience... no change there they have not reconnected... they have been on holiday in an interesting country of some recent political turmoil ....   so they tell me about their holiday... and i am thinking ... how can you go to a place that is.... well a country needing all the help it can get and tourism is a valuable enterprise .. that kind of puts me in my place ... well just!  so as you can hear i am feeling a little antagonistic ... but we are amongst underpriveleged and that really is where i feel miffed by the ongoing attitude of a generation of looked up to christians (but it didn't start in this place)  the conversation drifts to reference of religions i am being told about one religion where they had an impressive number of gods where  if they didn't have a god to order they made one up... i have to say this sounds like a culture full of enterprise the only limits seeming to be human imagination... then i get to hear about another culture and the attitude of that religious culture towards christianity and that's when......   apparently this culture sees the christian preoccupation with the trinity evidence of polytheism... i can see how that might be... i find myself challenged about my views i reply i do not see things in the same way as mainstream i don't accept the traditions of thought processes of theology i could of gone on to complain but i somehow was not in the mood... but added that i felt that sometimes the preoccupation with the trinity (as concept) got in the way of the Gospel.....  well maybe i was mixing and matching....  ok then where does the Holy Spirit come from? i am asked with some intensity i'm on the back foot... i refuse to give an answer saying that the basis of the question isn't relevant... i'm feeling i really want to escape... i say you cannot have ownership over what you can't control and strode off...  is that an unfinished discussion... well at the end i believe GOD is GOD and that is good enough for me as for the formation of words and nostrils and concepts of archaic handed down ness just seems to get in the way of the Gospel.... which is all very well... do i sound really tired of Christianity ... and at a crossroads with Jesus?

now if i said yes master and bowed asking for forgiveness from this well respected churchperson then what would have happened next? dunno i did not and the evening seemed to go from bad to worse......

oh there's a bit in the middle.... and it's all about me! i sit and attempt to chat with some folks.. after a while i am joined by someone in the church a young christian who i like loads cos the thinking is fresh and not contained by the church though they themselves are a onehundredmiles an hour active person....  they come over to sit with me ... i am currently sitting on a table deserted by my wouldbe companions feeling i has something to do with it.... they seem to be seeking sanctuary... it's been a hard day... we are joined by another church person .... some of the others return and i am prefering their company somehow...  suddenly it's apparently time to go and everyone is terribly concerned the how of that the yc of my church gets home ... i am thinking have i missed something.. in the end i have to leave the conversation... feeling really disturbed ... it's the vibe of it... i mean what about me ... if there is any danger... they all leave  that vibe remains the prson in question returns having forgot something...  and goes again.. i am feeling angry


GOD BLESS!

Peace and Love,

GOD BLESS!

Peace and Love,