Message #926

[ecuworrier]

jazz  the walk along the street to here ... the end of the show ... walking along somehow jazz lines .. passing the people on the end of their dreams tethjers to all the themes of hopes and loves born won and lost all the sewer stories the late night jostling for position on a dance floor far and wide from well everything sanitary... and a spirit of life just pouring out and play it again pouring out .. make a hole and make a wish sleep on the sound.. and darlin tomorrow will seem well new again... it doesn't look like that and yet the street i walk down isn't that different from what one imagines the streets where the various venues set in bordellos and seedy night clubs the only places that would have black folks playing to white folks that edgy reality of the divide from stage to audience...  audience to stage .... it's quite amazing really if it would be just that the divide were about beauty of reality that worked for and that worked at...

it's been an interesting day.....   and i am slumped on the awkwardness of .. ok i wanted to ask one of the performers the name of their song oh and throw in one that was sung some time back now....  whilst waiting for the window of opportunity.... oh dear i guess i don't play the game easily of deference and it shows in case you haven't seen already.... not that i've been rude mind on the contrary just absent far away avoiding the local star... cos well paths just do not cross....  no need to... no it's just that while i was waiting i was standing next to this guy and so i started talking and then was well too rude to leap out mid sentence as person made a quick exit ..... i guess it left me feeling self conscious.... a guy not long ago was talking about the importance of social skills ... and me i is busy blazing over the bar unnecessarily?... well not exactly they might see me as nice and what happens next time when i am not?  i don't get this ... i can almost have a sense of the fury and brutality of the person who threw a cymbal at the youngster who had practised hard and there they were playing the one song they had practised only not in the key they were playing and ... well ... bang came the cymbal.... that kind of bonding exercise uncouth but a lesson in enlargement of well everything.... i am finding things all weird at the minute and feel all at sea..... i have a chat about stuff ... nothing is well anything at the minute i feel so removed and yet GOD is in control and i am lost for learning the unlearnt...  as a precision of guidance of the well i am avoiding the practice....

i had a conversation earlier on the strength of .... some words on an app....   holy place....   so i ended up chatting about the division of church and non church.... as lost opportunity.... i was trying to guage the person i was talking to who did not say they did not believe exactly if anything they appeared to own the church while there i was busy defending folks from keeping out of the church.... well then they came up with this story.....: once upon a time they were in an acting troup which actually was a christian troupe putting on passion plays.... and when they came to a church to do the play they were invited to tea and dinner and Jesus was well well looked after.... the way the play was being set up was that the person playing Jesus was made up and the actors would beat up Jesus who then would appear in the back of the church and sit next to whoever in the backrows which could as often as not be the folks who had earlier been such magnificent hosts with all the make up and the change of garb the hosts didn't recognise this character as anything other than some hobo down and out and who knows what else coming into the church and cringed and ignored .....   to the person playing Jesus this was quite shocking... and i was told that... these people believe in the second coming of Jesus ... they have no idea what form Jesus would take for all they know Jesus could come as a downandout... i smiled at this in part in part cos they truely were shocked by this not just one off experience... and in part cos Matthew 25(i had to find it) the sheep and goats passage came to mind.. but the person i was talking to was shocked  ...me i didn't say anything except to tell the experience i had had of my visit to a church when i was begining my voyage  and finding myself watching a down and out druggie being politely removed from a church when i was kindof expecting some amazing fireworks ... lost opportuinity you see... ... they commented 'well we are all human' and i said 'i hear that all too often i'm afraed'....  end of the conversation....

you see, and maybe this is why it is so important to me.... that was my experience.... and at the time i was shocked and did not go back....  i din't know what to do  myself... but i knew that i expected more .. that was before i had the Gospel stories before me and could then look up and see the folks at the front and say but where are the christians? i could not see the similarity between the folks anecdoted in the Gospel stories as followers of Christ as they were in person following Christ and the persons doing the wall hangings in this church or that one or the one after...  should i be angry or is the but we're all human enough to be going on with and i should have some compassion patience and understanding instead of fury... or treat it all as a bit all irrelevant if you are not  yourself blahblah... i think i am just seeing a part of the shock that is intrinsic to my experience of everyone and everything.... and it is a deep rooted anger?  but let us be clear it was me who wanted to come into community with christians and what else was i gonna do? be amongst my fellow travellers .... could i have been the wiser ? well i did get a free bible out of it ... which enabled me to read for myself like any good protestant has cause to... but once one has read for oneself what then....

we were examining after a fashion why church attendance was so low... and is it really to blame the people within the human organisation for not doing what? reading the bible enough? not being Jesus enough? me i pointed to the first world war .. at the back of my mind i was thinking about the persecution of lutherans thousands upon thousands of german christians were caused to flee from britain so i am told a rather minor story not to have been told.. maybe significant as to something that was going on perhpas... but me i went on about the impact of the war on folks the deep impact on communities as those who fell are listed in every village.. but not the wounded who had to be looked after... suddenly war was not too lovely.... church attendance dropped.... yet who was preaching teaching against just war?..... i found that the most christian soldier leader of all was Ghandi ... and then i talked about the 'lost opportunity' that is the Gospel... ie not a Gospel that blames the people till they repent no the Gospel that is precise and Jesus Lord that sets free and does everything that says on the tin


GOD BLESS!

Peace and Love,

~Jesus is the Lord tjhat Saves and that surely means more than