Message #780

[ecuworrier]

i think GOD has been trying to get me to go for some days now  .. and me well have been too scared to....   but finally off i set and arrived for a queue and felt tense and anxious and prayed and then started bolting which continued the whole time  i was well waiting... interestingly i was really hypersensitive to those around me more so than usual what with me praying privately and bolting involuntary folks at first completely ignored me and then one or two did stare at me but without anxiety like it was completely natural to be in the same place as someone bolting... if i had not been so anxious i would have been paying attention and asking GOD stuff and so on.... curiously though there was one woman trying to aleviate the queue by helping with what can be helped and as i stepped forward someone physically rushed before me .. and after that everyone got seen before me.. at first i was a bit well angry and then i felt GOD had something to do with it? ... so settled in with the bizarreness of getting word stuff about the folks round me not just physical reactions.... i looked around me everyone needed help including those that clearly felt they was in controlo even yhough they like me was there cos they weren't .....   anyhows my turn came even though i had to go outside several times cos of the stress anxiety you name it..... acrophobia? .... i found myself in an enclosed space and started to hyperventilate claustrophobia setting in.... aleviated only cos pf the sense of pressure the the anxiety of the thing before me i had to concentrate to make myself understood....the person looking at me seemed really nice that helped me to fumble through words and geta across the reason i was there.... a moment passed and..... what? i could not believe my ears...."Praise the Lord" i cried out loud......  seriously.... there i was almost in tears while ... well i felt aware of the pPresence of the Holy Spirit somehow ... and was able to leave completely gobsmacked and unexpected and infeeling quite incredulous.....  the thing is if i had buckled out earlier and just done that thing of pushing forward demanding to be seen by the othere woman i would have been none the wiser.... and that's where GOD is pretty clued up .... though i expect she would have told me to carry on waiting but not necessarily...

 i left and had to go someplace i could do some worship to give thans..... i had stuff to do ... and then mog came along....   we chatted i told mog of my amazing ... the thing is i really felt GOD was in the House and that there is somehow ... we;ll GOD does some azaing stuff at times just to fix oyour attention i mean... the journey of humility this week has been in the get real sister stakes it has been an explaration to places otherewoise not attended to....   and onece again GOD has said reaffirmed it  matters and God the Father has a plan ... i like those stories of he incredulous journeys the biazrre the well really if i had thought this stiuff through i mean huh that wouldn't have worked would it ,,,, and yet!!!  when GOD runs through his meisterwerks GOD just goes ahead and Does it so....

it's been a real week of humblings tales of humblings and  vulnerabilities... and the options that we do have the choices we amake to be bullnosed and bulldoze through stuff has consequences... i am glad it has made me look at myself.... and i am delighted to see that mog still retains that vulnerability of cherish he is humbled by the cherishing of GOD for His son... and right now i  feel pretty cherished by GOD and for the first time in ages i really really wanted to sing worship and papraise and did!



GOD BLESS!

Peace and Love,