Message #3761

[ecuworrier]

Never let me go...



i have deliberately not looked up Florence and the Machines or their album... i've never heard of them and that is meaningless ... i have never heard of most music/bands....i played this cos it had lyrics and i thought it might be the next sound track posted here... but .. feels like a how clever is GOD?



this is a sound track from one of the most depressing films i have ever seen 'Never let me go' based on the novel by Kazuo Ishiguro... finding the following song in my head on my way here ...

-it was an odd luxury to have there (see link  below)  then i remembered the film i had seen.... i have spent the previous hour or so pondering different aspects of poverty or rather the poor- i was thinking about choices how the rich somehow made the poor by their choices and the poor somehow became poor .... when i saw the film a clarifying comment in the early sequences is completely shocking ... up to then there was a rather odd idyll of a boarding school with some odd tensions and then a new teacher breaks the tension.... some people will be doctors lawyers teachers the kids join in with suggestions ... but that's not their future... no they will be spare bodyparts for transplant to supplement and increase life expectancy for the more affluent... in the film this is a system that is legal and desirable... each child is modeled on a real person and will supply parts on demand and die a slow death... for me this felt an ugly metaphor for the relationship between rich and poor .. some folks gets choices others are born into making those choices happen ... in the film there are no choices or alternatives what is set down is the human moulded law of life.. the best one can hope for is to be at peace with what one has got....  there feels to be something eastern in this perspective but there is also something of 'we all have our crosses to bear' things somehow imposed on us a life of obligations to others to other's sense of morality like who gets the 'above' right to make these decisions? is this fair.... i despair of the rhetoric that states that everyone can make choices... not everyone knows that they can make choices and not everyone who does things has sat down and thought about the what the wherefore or the consequences... the poor appears to becoming a theme.... today normally i would be off to look for the poor ... well not quite there's quite a lot going on here.... a few meet to pray for a poor area of our locality and it is one bit of church that has been regular for me... we meet in the locality where one lives sent there by GOD .... and well .. a couple of years ago i was wondering what to do next after church when a vip suggested i go and pray for revival i was thoroughly irritated knowing they were off to vegetate and be socialble but once out of sight i thought hey ... so off i set with an all day bus ticket to pray for revival.... i kindov thought first bus ...first stop ... the first bus that i got on was bound for the poor and worst reputation of the locality and oh how i wished for revival to kick start here... you see and this may well be true for many other places.... the middle classes are pretty mobile and move around quite easily so your makeup of community represents folks in flux and folks that ain't goin nowhere ... the biggest achievement or ambition is to move out of the poor area into a more affluent area... so when one is praying for revival for a locality very often it is interlopers praying for interlopers while completely ignoring the continuously ignored locals .... there are exceptions of course... but there is an air of colonialisation ... folks of one culture coming to feed off and adapt the locals to a way of life that suits the needs of the colonials.. if all fails the colonials can always move on and frequently do....



but this is the song i was wanting to find that came into my head on my way it was because of the lyrics there is something desperate about the state of 'love' that has consumed that needs reassurance constantly ... or as much reassurance as it needs... a love that has changed a whole life and one that will never be the same again a happening that is beyond expectation or belief that is thoroughly scarey and unfamiliar and compulsive consuming who is the author of this state of affairs..... do we want this with Jesus is this all to over the top... but some of us we do need reassurance but what about experience or expectations.... hey two of the songs above are pretty deep into a sense of eroticism of the romantic.... and yet the words alone are like the real lyrics of worship the real enquiry the real test of number one.... most of us are content with what we've got... or don't expect much else.... so are we nutters to want more..... i have had a few moments where i have come to the question and not really had an answer... i like the point of no return of Baptism... but how did i get there but for GOD... the lyrics of the first song really touch those themes (whatever was intended by the writers or band) but what next that is really where i am at... and recently by GOD's design i unexpectedly found myself in the room of the first church i went to fllowing my baptism.... i had gone to tell someone from my old church that it had happened.... they weren't there ... the church at the time was in temporary accomodation kindly provided by another church... and there i was back at the begining of expectation... if there is one theme present at the minuteis the one i grumble aobut the others .... what they think GOD should be doing or they 'should' be doing... as christians... it's easy to get bogged down with.... and i certainly feel very self consciouss of GOD from my position of place of reality or consciousness... yes we all are vulnerable and don't want to get it wrong...

another point i came to of stark reality was when i was last in the same room as Heidi Baker she was doing complex altar call with lots of responded to things.... i actually was not sure where i should be and was trying to follow GOD while ... but one call struck home it was about advancing to another place the need to get lower .... i felt called choked and stopped... this was as far as i was at ... and in all senses of reality there was what desire ? timing? i was

gottago

or is it enough to know it's there.... doi we get tested? do we wander off course our own sense of GOD our own sense of self our own efforts .... i meet a lot of folks who are believers onceuponatime church goers and have fallen away... it is a major preoccupation with some churches.... it is a tragedy that folks is fallen away but it's their fault.....   there is the old coal fallen out of the fires metaphor but hey here i am moaning about it and yet the only thing that Jesus teaches is to believe in the one who sent me.... i say this cos churches these days seem to have vision statements they have beliefs spelled out in bullet points and it all seems to be very slick and take it or leave it like tapping for an insurance policy.... or a travel brosure maybe churches should be given star ratings it would be so much easier to know what to expect.... church with no star ratings what would that say... would it help the consumer to have membership t this or that organisation... the trouble is it already exists and the reality is you meet a christian you like they don't reflect the church it would be great if the church was like the christian or you meet a christian who does not look like their church and you wish they did....  it's so confusing!.... so what does believe in the one that sent me mean... to me it's clear that GOD is GOD and that anything else is anything else but how do we tell the difference? are you seriously expecting a tick all the boxes answer... from anyone? but Jesus alone!

Never let me go... it's that when we are having a bad day .... GOD please don't let us get lost, go away do stuff.... it's recognising GOD that is GOD whether we are in the mood or place.. it's recognising we are part of GOD and GOD lives ... but we may not know it in the moment... we know from our human relationships how anxious we are how much we have to lose and we project notions onto GOD but i am tired of the rote of note.... of christian lips boiling out the mantra till it only has the structure of lipservice is GOD still in the house when the service is so far from the servant is so far from the service from ... whose master is it anyways.... at the same time i baulk at the industry of 'the faithful' of the 'elect' of the discipline and ever presence of the few... the folks i is not at all keen to hang out with...  i think there's not a lot of not life but living going on there there is devotion to devotion and no doubt plenty of other stuff... what pisses me off and this shows my immaturity.... whatever they see when they see me ... whatever they is looking for..... do they not know i can see stuff too ... maybe we all needs to spend some time looking a bit more in the mirrors... we is like scorpions in the desert circling eachother but with no intention of love embrace only of who is going to kill who first .... so much for brotherly love... i feel depressed because i see so much i see so much non intention of change it's all wrapped up trussed like a turkey religious freedom freedom for the spirit and gods of religion and otherwise!

i pray for a Release of GOD a NEW FOUND FREEDOM AND BLESSING in the Name of Jesus for all!

GOD BLESS!

Peace and Love.