Message #3677

[ecuworrier]

where was i... ah yes

the preaching sure is 'out there!' and i am praying too ... i am definitely not as present as i usually am and get coughed over by someone sitting behind me ... sure they get prayed for...  but still oh i am so weary tonight!.... an altarcall with words of knowledge... i ! slip out for a fag! when i come back... a number of people more are in the space at the front... oh no what have i missed GOD seems to be moving me towards there but me i am reasoning about help surely i shou,ld know what is being prayed for!? surely though i should just be going with GOD's encouragement!? i hesitate i do not want to disturb anybodie's revery and intimacy so i kindov hang around waiting for GOD please get someone to look me in the eye to ask ... of course nobody turns around then someone leaving looks into my eyes and judging by their manner i .... what another confusing conversation... hey me i am not really going for this at all!... what does it matter so long as GOD gets what GOD wants? i am not thinking at the time.... i go with the moving feet and someon seems not to be in a revery young man! i address them! a person clearly of many years ... what i sthe altar call for? anything you want any kind of Healing Restoration... oh! oh shouldn't everyone be down there then? the guy is set off laughing.... ok.. so i amble down and am amidst people who need Healing and who are watching on and not quite getting it together to ask! and i am oh so wanting to do the bizz!... instead i pray at distance and wait for ... someone comes up to me and starts to pray..... someone else rushes behind me and prays in tongues.. i turn about to catch a modicum of glimpse without quite taking it all in... i am certainly filled with something Joy Strength is what the first person is doing... the other person mysteriously vanishes with not another word and i still don't know what they look like but want to know why they so rapidly jumped in... and what words if any they got... the other one sees an image bubbles like champagne... they say that kindov means something as i search in my head and something happens that has us both laughing... it's bothering me cos it's only recently i was in a prayer session with folks and somebody saw bublles with someone else... i can't quite recall ....  i feel very filled with something!... and sit... i start chatting with someone beside me turns out that they are from my locality and we chat about stuff something peculiar is going on and in the end  reveals a spirit i politely ask them if they are ok with me saying stuff they say ok so i go with it....i go with a word a word of knowledge.. i go off to find the second person who was praying for me... can't see them unless it is that person who is currently talking to somebody else and then ... no sooner do i move and they are talking to someone else! i look around and get a closer look at the speaker of the day.... the presence of the Holy Spirit is thick around them... still i kindov do not quite get why it appears so different... to that i would expect!... someone accosts me i explain why i am there they ask me if i want prayer i say i have been prayed for (i am so polite) they grab the nearest prayer warrior who seems a little reluctant and they ask me what i want prayer for.... i say i just want GOD to direct stuff... and theri hands are unbelievably hot! they stand at the same side as the first person who prayed ... as before the other person speaks in tongues the whole time and then off they go!... it is very weird to have the one side of me prayed for it would feel by 2 similar looking people but with apparently .... tbh i have not been paying much attention to what they say only at one point a word seems weird it has my attention did you just say... ? this sets them off laughing ... i am not sure if it is for them or me... and i have absolutely no problem with what GOD wants coming out as it did for me ... challenging the orthodoxy of prayer warrying that .... i spend quite a lot of time with someone who is kindov very persistent those prayer hands are hot....   i have had the experience i may have ment8ioned of where when suddenly the hot becomes cold and there is a point where that is reached ... but we talk i let off a little steam about weariness and now new worry... i like this person they are doing deadpan Ministry ... turns out that they were told by GOD the sort of person they would meet Spiritually this evening and somehting of this encounter is making sense of something they have said... it's interesting talking to them we talk about the struggle to find a safe church... i get the dictatorial 'word of GOD = bible thing' i can see this person has had a tough time... is very correct and disciplined... and yet in those Holy Spirit moments... a different person emerges! i tell you i am so slow on the uptake today! another bunch of prayers against my availabliily except on the terms of those i cannot recognise for GOD's authority? it's a running theme a running sore!.... those hands though they warm up again and stay on my shoulder... i do have to make the train... (don't i?) the idea of being stranded does not quite appeal! i don't say what is on the tip of my tongue to say...which is oooh those hands i want to take them home with me.... in case it comes out wrong... oh LORD i have a suspicion that i have been coming out all wrong rather a lot recently in rather a lot of different places..... something about that Heat is moving the place though under my skin ... "

on the way home i keep getting into the seat that moves backwards with the train!.... i reflect i need to move forwards....  it is on the complete home straight that there is a sense of finally GOD is involved with my other stuff and that is just where GOD needs to put GOD'self!

GOD BLESS!

Peace and Love,