walking home missed appointments...or?  it's raining and i pass a womaninadoorway...  asking me for... i turn around and say GOD BLESS YOU! i realise ah yes this was... yes i have seen her before and she dismissed me as one of those religious types as i was talking to her now believing compainion... that event left me pondering and what should i have said i should have let the Holy Spirit give her the chance to proove stuff.... instead of embarrassedly skulk away embarrassed cos i is one of those religious types i is so keen to distance myself from or just keep it simple i know i should have said something like GOD use the opportunity for front foot something... does this sound like me stage managing GOD a bit? actually it was me searching for where the Holy Spirit was setting me up for and me i forgets in the moment to look for GOD afterall GOD HAS set up the appointment to talk to the believer... that i should have taken earlier when i saw said believer?... sb wanted a chat i wanted a chat with sb now in this unavoidable moment the conversation is stilted into the box of three additional suspicious or at least abandoned by religious types ... what's their objection i wonder....  to be called a religious type somehow suggests somehow that is how one comes across... Spirituality often has a different form of vocabulary... religious type suggests church going and with that nothing to offer of worth note value relatability or perhaps even offering exactly the right things but thwarted the religious type crawls away embarrassed thinking the accuser is an idiot.... or a rebellion at the very least!  so here in the now it is raining i am being asked for ... i am truely not listening and seems i have kindov developped a lack of sympathy... GOD is however on the warpath cos next! 21 or so paces on... i spot somebody asking someone i am musing deep with GOD on something am aware and then.... i am asked i again do not wait for what is asked but muse along saying GOD BLESS! hey i look into the vacant eyes of a drug induced coma of the person asking for what i'm not gonna bother even to find out and say GOD BLESS! and walk on.... you know out of sight out of mind... hardly, i have only just been musing on these matters in the state of the church so i trudge carefully forward praying stuff for one and both these missed GOD encounters....  i had no patience no compassion no heart no inclination no integrity to treat them with the respect that life itself deserves/... and no i is not hiding behind the best thing i has to offer is GOD's Blessing! it is ... but it is only the third person by then many prayers and musings and passed people later that i look in the eye as they ask me for something and all i have is GOD BLESS! i say it again and look into their eyes i mean it this time and something comes on they look back into my eyes as i say it....

earlier today ... the rains have gone.... they have? oh... i look up to the sky it sure looks blue.... i have just bumped into somebody i used to bump into regularly but in the last year or so sporadically so.... they are a christian.... a church going one ... to a different church.... at first i am inclined to bypass them knowing they haven't noticed me before i notice them and i have the ample aid of a stopped group chatting that i have to walk around... well i have ideed just been bypassed by ... a spiritual non christian from many times ago someone who did have a church background i seem to recall....  but now... ah i can see it it is certainly not Jesus!.....  i am kindov pondering this... awhile... at the moment... i find myself spin around to greet  christian friend.....  ok why was i in a hurry to avoid them? well ok there is this .. a frustration with their charismatic church that .... well does it have to be charismatic church that's the problem after all insight is insight to pray for ... it's just the place folks gets left once they has filled in all the forms is just where they gets left the deed is done as far as this church or the next church is concerned and the results ie the tick box of methodology of religious practice gets elevated and they get mentioned in terms of their appearance at chiurch their activities within church how much the leaders warm to them inother words are they useful as they are? if they are they get mentioned from time to time... if they are not then well maybe 1) they will be one day or 2) maybe they will not be and will move on?.... this is christianity no matter what denomination.... attenders are vital to the life of the church and it does not quite matter how happy or unhappuy they are ..... especially when they are out of sight out of mind.... so i spend some time listening and praying and praying somemore ... one of the things i pray about well it's kindof like i'm given information i cannot help myself prayers just fall out of my lips and GOD seems to be helping along the way with some stuff that i don't actually utter.... hey you think praying for you is any different? actually i am praying for someone not immediately present... same rules apply...
they thank me for the prayers and something dawns on me this is unusual for christian to actually pray about folks when they meet eachother like casually like that... GOD has more for them and i come away feeling humbled and person in question looking a lot... well more human.... a bit further on i get rained on again!

a bit further on again....  seems i have not been listening too well actually seems nobody is listening too well.... and that is with exact communications....

ok see how you handle this one!  you offer to pray for someone.... you pray ... you ask them how they are a bit later on ... they say they are worse.... then you ask them again offering to pray... they say no!
or even you hesitate to pray after all that!....  well i missed out on this one and all because i felt totally excluded from any of the above cos of the past.... BUT i could offer a prayer story of my own that happened during the year... when someone i ever so slightly know had one of those ridiculous accidents could have happened to any of us... you know fall off chair (sober!) and end up with weird ankle injury.... i offered to pray when person with limp came into view!! they let me.... next time i saw them it was worse not only was it worse person was now on more crutches and bandages etc than previously.... well this went on and at some point it was me wanting to run for the hills everytime i saw them... anyway in terms of me doing the evangelical thing and puffing out my chest with pride and GOD making me feel very smug about GOD'N'ME i was feeling very responsible ... you see the bits of the chronology were like this ... as soon as i come all blazetrailing for GOD things seem to go from a bad to worse... i mean how could that person see things in any other way! me i thought GOD was gonna sort that ankle out superquick and all would be.... ok who would get the attention then?  GOD says do not rejoice in that the demons flee but because you have that relationship with Heaven .. (you are written in the book) too often we are focused on the wrong things... we have our own agendae.... i was telling this story cos.... well it had suddenly occured to me ... you see i saw that person recently ... actually a few times and you know what... suddenly it occurs to me their body being for want of a better pjhrase is different... there is something changed about the same person....  and i only just noticed it... so me i get to risk the reputation of be3ing one of those evangelical types ... and GOD gets to have done something of GOD i quite like that... i think i am also telling this cos everyone seems to be at risk of confused and complicated agendae... i am therefore i pray.... i am what therefore i pray... GOD wants it both ways why GOD's Way of course... that's only one way GOD WINS GOD GETS THE GLORY! wel GOD has the GLORY ANYWHOW... last night/thius morning i find a rather long passage it's all on this theme it's something like... Job 38-42? you know where GOD once GOD is on a theme makes it a GOOD ONE AND A LONG ONE... well where was i ? where were you

GOD BLESS!

Peace and Love,

oh prayers for you too!