friend says i am sorry i had a go at you...  what? i am a little bemused it has to be said!....

i hadn't noticed ... i had noticed that everyone seemed to be having a go at me but what warranted apology?

well it was quite simple ... i thought we were having a debate!... well we were... i discover that friend is into pagan spiritualities but actually they originate from a conformed church background sundayschool and all sorts... we have a laid back chat where i share some of my rather strange testimony... they oddly start with the what pisses them off is the whole thing with gays and the church... i don't actually think they are gay but so i come out... and broaden it out from my experience of church that it discriminates against and does not Minister to a whole lot else (i could have added and it demonises too but that didn't quite come to mind) and it's so nice to have a laid back chat about stuff that i understand... and they welcome my chat.. and when it gets to the inevitable 'i have never heard a sermon on that' they say 'well you should preach it'  in the middle of all this someone comes along and mentions that one of my other friends is a muslim now that takes me by surprise....

the last part of the day is asking them about it... and yes i am interested in the sundayschool to islam story! no time..

contn'd...  so yup i did not get the unexpected story.... hey that's after me boasting to other friend that i can see spiritualities well actually i can... and now a bit of closer inspection reveals yup i can see this one too ... the unexpected muslim friend .. what i didn't really see... you see one can get confused as confused within the church as outside of it where the visual effects alone are .. well there is some serious overlap but what is more ... if one expects something of someone eg like in a church that someone saying all the right things in the right places but still one can see... something that needs fixing ...  my umf is open to conversations about GOD and is quite comfortable with me being out as a christian as well as out as gay which is oh so refreshing umf being a real darling as well ....   earlier in the day pf umf and me sat together and me i got irritated by the usual smug this is better than the rest conversation....upping the hype on one's own 'thang' the complete earlthy and i guess Spiritual reason we all is there the three of us at that moment in time... i can not bear it and explain i am sick to death of this kindof talk within my church scenarios... and find myself dramatically praying out loud in the Name of Jesus ! for the temples of the wall to fall... it's quite a moment and then back to the 'thang'.... earlier it's not just homosexuality that puts off folks it's Student's Christian Union ... again me i is quite sympathetic  to that not everyone wants to have things of Grace and Love and everything that IS GOD rammed down one's throat by some precocious hysterical young christian trying to earn cudos and spurs amongst their peers and church ... can't think why! oh could it be the blame one gets for not taking to this er social documentary? could it be that unfathomable you believe in what!!??

you believe in what!!??? said another friend.... there was umf me and another friend standing together yes i do i repeated it's my experience.... umf was defending umf's own experience as it were the exact centre of attention of 'something in there'... another friend was ... well -last week when af was talking you know the usual could just as easily be a christian .. af had some very definite views about something that affected af's ability to take somebody seriously... i said 'Bless you'  af turned around and said don't 'you bless me... (something i couldn't quite catch)'... so i said it again to their retreating back...- well this time they kindof took a step closer to say something and then somehow vered around showing theri back... i just said again ... that was my experience of GOD that GOD shows Blessing that everything we do even if we are reluctant to ... GOD just wants to show Blessing... GOD is pretty inexplicable in explanation except that GOD was somehow pretty BIG in that moment without me having to say a word more... i had just asked umf about the um thing so it was true ... i was surprised but hey you know what i said ... whatever gives /brings you peace ... cos that's what Jesus is about without us having a hysterical know all attitude to back Him up... it had felt a theme that ... relax GOD is Control and therefore GOD brings GOD's Revelation in GOD's own Time and therefore whoever anyone is whatever they are in their lives wherever they has got to GOD just wants to say Hi wants to say 'I LOVE YOU' and everything has a purpose of one sort or another... so who are we to say how clever we are for being a christian... and how stupid hapless rebellious or ignorant everyone else is... i feel i had what feels like a VERY BIG REVELATION about this with MUCH LOVE from GOD during this last year and i felt quite excited about it! cos GOD outside the church? of course GOD IS cos GOD IS EVERYWHERE GOD IS JUST SO AS GOD IS GOD IS!!!

GOD BLESS!

Peace and Love,