Message #3648

[ecuworrier]

..cramped in for a few minutes ... and pissed off-it has to be said!

i am pissed off for all sorts of reasons it has to be said! and that is before i get to speak to anyone from my church!...

actually things aren't that bad it's just that i is in that inbetween place... yesterday seems i was a hapless target for my non christian friends.. and in a way it is all my own fault!.... i had to choose and i forgot to ask GOD which group to join... like i had a choice? well i was given one.. and am crap at decision making so one goes for what should be a best option... but as soon as i approach the number one member of the group i find myself making the comment i hope we won't fight ..of course number one member of the group pleads innocent then continues the day and days thereafter completely proving my instinct! by the time my group is complete well.... the moments of it looking a plausible group are passing quickly!  then seems all the relevant information is well it's like one of those early computer games you go along by trial and error learning bit by bit what shoudl be happening what the objectives are and what the pitfalls are and how to avoid them.... it's pathetic suddenly our teacher says well it wasn't meant to work that way ...no kidding.... i am convinced everything is conspiring to hinder my development and am all at sea and am apparently all at sea with GOD the last person i want to talk to right now i am sulking with GOD too! relax GOD is in control! one feels oneself spinning around to belt the person saying those words... as well as the person sitting next to me right now who has a lurgie that they are liberally spraying about the place... you know that moment when you want to give them one of your own? surely you are carrying some really choice lurgies? you see i am seriously out of sorts... it's like i am blaming everyone!

relax GOD IS IN CONTROL! you see if i had asked GOD instead of rushing into yet another dimension of really tough out of my depth training....? well i didn't and i am feeling well pissed off!... the difference being if GOD had said... then i could say hey GOD ok here i am just where you want me so now what!... one error of judgement leads to another....


so here goes hey GOD what do You want me to do now?

you see a coupla days completely sine church and what happens?  well tbh i have quite enjoyed the escape... yesterday was a little wonderful actually... i had more than one non church Jesus experience with my non christian friends .... the first one started like this:

friend says i am sorry i had a go at you...  what? i am a little bemused it has to be said!....

i hadn't noticed ... i had noticed that everyone seemed to be having a go at me but what warranted apology?

well it was quite simple ... i thought we were having a debate!... well we were... i discover that friend is into pagan spiritualities but actually they originate from a conformed church background sundayschool and all sorts... we have a laid back chat where i share some of my rather strange testimony... they oddly start with the what pisses them off is the whole thing with gays and the church... i don't actually think they are gay but so i come out... and broaden it out from my experience of church that it discriminates against and does not Minister to a whole lot else (i could have added and it demonises too but that didn't quite come to mind) and it's so nice to have a laid back chat about stuff that i understand... and they welcome my chat.. and when it gets to the inevitable 'i have never heard a sermon on that' they say 'well you should preach it'  in the middle of all this someone comes along and mentions that one of my other friends is a muslim now that takes me by surprise....

the last part of the day is asking them about it... and yes i am interested in the sundayschool to islam story! no time..


GOD BLESS!

Peace and Love,