..this feels not my finest hour... me am zombified and still struggling with some stuff for the church i have been at it for hours!  begining with great gusto knowing that i have to do gthis and yes it will take a while but!....  the journey begins with the compatible surroundings of somebody else doing some such stuff we chat for a bit and i get started then somebody goes and someone else arrives and pisses me off i've told them not to... and there they are at it again..now i ask you who view this scene with the slightest of knowledge from afar... what is it that dictates that somebody uses terms that come across with disrespect and are invited to reconsider and all they can seem to do is disregard information... i close the door,,, and they close the door now who i ask wants to be alone.... there is a spiritual energy that is somehow well what language should one use to describe a malignancy a prowl around listless unhappy not taking any steps whatsoever and carrying on in abomination... now of course reading all that you oh christian if you have been listening to the teaching paying attention you will know that can be none other than ..... a homosexual energy.. of course! seems the only sexual energy of any negativity of nature is homosexual oh unless you count in the occasional harpie woman or so...

ah i was wondering when we was gonna get to this ... as we drift off from the angry person completely off piste ... it reminds me of though manifests differently a time i had where i was extremely vulnerable and was despairingly chattering to GOD and under extreme fear ... like some place is not quite getting to ??? like when was this ever going to end?...  scarey times for the churched christian....  un... well it was a very interesting time the church 'experts' proved to be no expertise in anything to the extent all they could do was say a few words vaguely and run for the hills!  and me i hope was not treating them with disrespect on the contrary i went to them for their advice and comfort and guidance and was given the recipe psalm to learn off by heart... for some reason that didn't quite work even when i put my faith in that well ... how much faith was faith and where did faith come from?..... you see while the good church folks were hiding behind theri sofas me i was no further to having my plight remotely resolved.... and yet can you believe GOD is in Control?  so you see i can see it from both sides and ... am i making this about pride? no not exactly i can see person is suffering and am even reminded as i scribble here that when somebody is rude it's cos they need some Spiritual attention... well i know this person needs some Spiritual attention and they is the one before me and all i can think of is to keep the door shut .... and be terribly affronted... part of the proiblem is they say they are seeking some help from elsewhere and me well i is a little more  cautious about what that might mean .. but heys am i making any sort of difference hey you can see by my confession i is completely ignoring everything!

earlier today somebody turned up ... and totally ignored me and totally engrossed themselves in the others who are kind and gentle but hey we have only just met and me hey well.... wanna know what ?... in the last few days that person keeps bumping into me... me ! me! even though they love the others and completely don't care for me i have to prove myself somehow and i don't like those sorts of games... i just do what i understand / respond to.... but we have an odd moment actually it was an amazing one... one of the gentle folk was talking about a miracle.... it was Joshua approaching the river Jordan when GOD says they need to walk into the Jordan they need to step into the river and the river will part before their eyes... they need to step into their miracle... that had an effect on me!.... you see see you need to step into your miracle!... the person who is ignoring me is in one of those places... i talk about peace and they say there is only one place of peace ... i stumble a bit and fumble ...  this was about teaching and belief? hey no... it's about the issues and i pray out loud about them! and find myself animated about the belief stuff... like one person's belief is what...  anyhows i have made my point somehow and leave the others to themselves... me i am feeling a bit irritated with the conversation... but tell me when... when one person is talking stuff that is so ... why are church people so scarey... i find the rest of my time with these gentle folks is really irritating .. i cannot believe what i am hearing...  it is not one of my better days... oh and yes i feel under inspection under scruteny like i have to prove myself and you know what that's a completely uninteresting agenda cos my Jesus LOVES ME and my JESUS LOVES MY ENEMY TOO so LORD please Save my enemies in the Holy Name of Jesus! AMEN

GOD BLESS!

Peace and Love,

oh and we didn't quite get to... but GOD WILLING it will happen!