hit flopped out...

well it was yesterday at church somebody asked me what i was doing for the rest of the day... i told them my limited itinerary and that i was all GOD's for the rest of the day... the Holy Spirit took hold of me in that moment and it was like i was being... laid back to rest.... so eventually i did... but not after finding a long Ministry session with a christian... i had no idea! i was thinking feeling shocked and embarrassed that i had no idea...  have you told ipcs at your church? yes....  it raised a lot of issues ... the person was carrying ongoing sense of trial and tribulation and had kept it pretty much to themselves... asking for prayer for symptoms but not letting on... oh how often do we do stuff like that....  i am currently reminiscing as i write /// about a situation some while back where i was doing pretty much the same sort of thing... i was praying almost like it never happened and i recall a bellowing in my ear as folks were praying for what i had asked without mentioning what the bellowing in my ear was putting some context to... it was a salutary lesson at the time but right now i am seeing the context in a different light cos what happened then was i took that bellowing somehow to heart in other words i was making a god out of this bellowing and its impact///and didn't quite deal with the everything in other words the impact of that bellowing bringing a sense of blame and with it shame and with it inaction and self reproachment now there is very little one can do when somebody is embraced in self reproachment when all there is to go on is well what one is told to pray for... however this is a great example of where GOD of course IS in the know and so it is completely ludicrous that we the citizens hear on earth to pray for GOD's Kingdom to Come in all the Fullness of His Manifestation of Glory just merrily pray for what we are asked to pray for with complete ignorance.... part of not being told more is that we are not trusted part of not being told more is that we are not supposed to know and truely we need to know nothing other than see that our prayers are well we can see that only touching the surface/// now i am getting back to the bellowing in my ear that i did not mention to those praying for me at the time... i now see a spirit actually getting in the way and causing a massive distraction from the cause of the Gospel which is GOD's One and Only desire which is to set me free for the fullness of purpose!.... namely that i learn more by the full action of the Gospel than the half baked truths of not quite saying what is on mind...  and i go further right now to venture it was actually irrelevant to trusting the good folks of the prayer gathering with the detail but what was relevant was a complete misunderstanding of the Gospel leaving me completely frigid for a very long time ... but i see that now ... i did not see that then ... though GOD did loads to fill in the stuff of theology of the LOVE of GOD it's theology! in the intervening years/// if only i had understood then? well ok i ask you this then : why is it the christians round me or person i was talking to or anywhere else so far oblivious to either the Gospel or at the very least the humanitarian plight of a single sufferer who looks like they are suffering/doesn't look like they are suffering but they don't look right? How is it that Jesus in the Gospels can just Heal thousands like that? and we can't even see the suffering... we are all such sugar sacharine pill placebo effect addicted prayers.... and it does trouble me! at the very least we can offer GOD's Advice ie we can press into change by asking GOD for Revelation

on the other hand most of the christians i know love to know things about theri neighbour and have a good gossip.... one wonders how much a bogstandardchristian really has to know before they start getting Spiritual! Jesus Heart is somehow full of Compassion and out of that Compassion a full desire to set the captive free and see the broken hearted fully Healed and the Day of Favour of the Lord Released...

recently GOD seemed to want me to go to a particular christian community... well that's how i read it when i suddenly seemed to have a brief picture come smack in my head when i was thinking... it was rather odd though cos the day it happened was perfect notice for the next service only.... the next service i found out wasn't happening in fact some rather dramatic stuff had been happening with the community!/////   i wasn't prepared for this.... they had sacked their leader and an entire leadership team had left!.... i had sporadic dealings with them and quite suddenly of late there was something i felt completely surprised by and a number of stuff was leaving me rather uneasy and i guess chattering to GOD... i had hoped to include some into some of the ecumenical things we sometimes do .. but there was no way i was going to then!!! ... it's this theme of who are our friends and influences and is everything GOD or is it not? tbh i don't know a single group of christians that is not affected by this and apparently inspected by other christians who are the last to look at whether there are any planks of theri own....    i was shocked and dispaoointed cos i expected the knowledge of GOD to be a sound truth and here was the allowing or if you like bowing to other gods coming interfering?.... and what is more there was a clear discomfort there like deep down the spirit knew something was wrong...  ! so on hearing the dramatic news of a shift in the heirarchy i was at first shocked then remembered why i was feeling queasy in that setting and finally though later.... wow GOD YOU HAVE BEEN BIZZY are doing something!!!!! the shift the rift far from being a tragedy seems potentially a liberation and Blessing whatever the actual events or circumstances and the fact that the people i know have the best connections with are all now chucked out i look forward to going to meet with the rest again.... i find myself invited to a couple of things one being the new group including all those to me vexatious influences.... oh GOD oh GOD why are You Forsaken please come rescue me!

GOD BLESS!

Peace and Love,