last night i sit on a bench and have a fag it is beautiful and quiet and somebody carrying a can walks past and... hey you know what them speaking to me and asking if they can share my bench... ??? GOD APPOINTMENT .... as they sit down at the other end.... and i acknowledge GOD appointment suddenly i see a small cluster of angels before me... i have to say that those prayers about having angels aroujnd are not always my idea of a good prayer but you know what... i was feeling a bit vulnerable in that moment and i remembered someone or two having prayed that can't quite connect to who... and i felt a peace.... person sits down and have a smoke... i am kind of not in the mood?.... and feel glad they don't actually speak to me.... when i get up i turn to them and say Jesus Loves you.... they look at me and say.. what?... i repeat the words kindof deadpan... something makes them break out in a smile of laughter i smile and say GOD BLESS! and go...

hummm...

 interestingly on the subject of church leaders and their behaviours... have been listening to some gossip that has shocked the world about a particular church leader gifted by their ability to attract a whole big congregation..... but their personal morals seem to be connected to something out of 1 Corinthians .... i have to say i seem to have got a bit bored of this whole morality thing ... what does any of it have to do with one's efficacy to do Jesus? well the answer has to be that if it does then... what's the problem and if it gets in the way then well ... time for choices!.. cos listening to somebody going on for the umpteenth time i turned to somebody and said .. sounds like they are onto a good thing there... they kind of smiled at that! i also like the one about ... a church where the announcement of the young church leader's engagement halved the congregation... the hopefull young ladies went elsewhere.... do i reaLLY  want to go to any of these churches... well the catholic one ... the priest is the least important person other than for ceremonial purposes so one can hide out amongst the icons and wait on GOD  there is some comfort in that...

so i kindov do ask GOD hey GOD where are we going this morning... are we goin catholic ?   no GO and GOD takes me to church... hey i really do have to have a conversation with GOD about ... ok GOD if You want to me to go there then surely it's for my own Blessing so i should be more cheerful than that... i look around it's kindov a gloomy day but i hear a couple of blackbirds and there is something about the spring and the buds and all that?.... i get to chat with some folks from church who catch my bus.... they are often late but hey today me i am late synchronised with them.... we meet somebody having a grumble about something not on and we invite them to church... i ask them if they want prayer for anything... and alone stop for prayer and we have a chat... and i have a pray ...will people welcome them i say tjhat we will...  they hopefully will come next time!  that feels much better!... worship is in full swing when i get to church...  i join in missing out the lines i don't want to sing which is quite a lot ...or completely changing the words... GOD is FOREVER GOD has already done the once and forever thing... so why do we not just get on with it .........and me i am in the midst of my lent practise that goes on to pentecost and i have been stops and starts all the way....   but i want to get stuck in now

church seems informal sitting around chatting emphasising fellowship while Jesus has  been Resurrected!... i avoid any evidence of 'the talk' but have a Glorious time doing Ministry... afterwards i am off to watch a very important football match... which is rather dull .... (have not been enjoying the footie this season and don't even applaud the win)

but the way there is not... i get a bus and GOD wants me to get off i am bemused but can see somebody in a queue for the bus i have recently met ... they are trying to avoid me but i get a word  in... i then look at the clock too early for the pub so now what?... i am dithering and a homeless person starts to speak to me i chat for a while and  offer to pray...  we have one of those i am not a believer /i AM a believer exchanges... yesterday i heard a moving account of  instinct for Jesus and the apparent distance of the church from what one expects.... like stories from WW1.... a man's story about the insanity of the spectacle of the padre who Blesses them to go and kill people... or be killed by people... the insanity of family that is intensely religious so much so that the one member who invites people for a meal then goes up  the street and invites all the homeless folks they meet to eat with them is despised..... the confusing message of the church and money; all robes and finery!!!!   i seem to be adding to the stock in terms of active experiences reasons why folks stay well clear of Spiritual practice and churches and yet are drawn someplace and GOD gets them to sit next to me on the bench and GOD gets me to get off the bus to go speak with them...  or any which way! i particularly like the one about... growing up in a christian household, but any interest quickly snuffed out due to objections to being forced to go to Sunday school !... i say that Jesus is on a level playing field with them on that one GOD doesn't want people to be forced to do anytjhing! (thagt's to do with GOD's Love and Perfect Timing!)...  further along the road i see somebody grappling with ventolin i say i'm a christian and ask if i can pray for them they say yes... wow!  ...i pray ... Happy Easter! ...say they Happy Easter! say i.... i'm drawn into a sidestreet and find myself face to face with a rabbit...pink eared one... i am engaging with them when what sounds like my name ... has GOD given them a word?.... i am talking to somebody who i have actually met before from long ago... and they look really different! i don't Spiritually engage with them in words but am prompted to offer to get them a drink (they don't need)... GOD gets a mention of course cos i confess about the wondering if GOD had given them this word to address me by name!

i seem to have escaped all the intensity of the acted out drama of the Easter Passion... the death and Resurrection of the Lord Jesus... some of it is cos i am so tired of the ritual... Jesus is a Living Jesus a 24/7 Jesus today tomorrow everyday and i feel quite glad for that... i am kndov carrying on as per a little helped by Jesus doing things like not letting me meditate of the stations of the cross not feeling drawn to the vigil though i nearly did.... playing a game with myself about maybe i can attend an eastern orthodox easter??? am i not fed up with religious ritual? am i not sick to the back teeth of what has gone before the years of folks get to Easter Sunday celebrate by indulging in the activities they have given up for the last 40 days (excluding feast days... you see i just do not getit!)... and that seems to be it ...to get to the same point a reminder that Jesus is Resurrected that Jesus lived the life of Jesus and that required being born of GOD and living the life GOD ordained 24/7 in complete Faith and endurance... i love the idea that the more times we go through this we get closer to doijng and understanding Jesus and to do this we have to understand the role of the Father in our lives.... on GOD's terms... to understand the role we have to live the role GOD gives us... i love that idea that all the young people of many years break out in song and dance and we see signs and wonders abound around them.... is it that we just are not quite living long enough as a humanity for this to be a part of nature phenomenon? or is something getting lost in translation?

if your lent has come to an end ... Bless you ! i pray wholeheartedly for your sense of GOD to be very very very Real and FULL of richness of BLESSING and SONG of the heart sing a new song! in the Name of Jesus!

GOD BLESS!

Peace and Love,