it's quiet nobody about and i find myself pondering stuff lots of stuff .. i feel overburdened by prayer .. a desire to be more effective ...  it's gone beyond that: i want to talk to... soandso... or even ..., that clutching at straws like a baby bird in the nest fed but it's somehow never quite enough input from the human forms around... but there's nobody about ... and that is as it should be.... would life be simpler if there was somebody to carry my prayer burden i mean in the human form.. i suspect it would layer on complexity of its own.... that would be annoying beyond measure one only has to listen to folks responding to what they hear around them one only has to feel those interruptions welling up ... the worldly way of solace... one you're only human to another you're only human... don't you know it's a matter of life or death... and GOD only offers through Jesus Christ of Nazareth SALVATION saving grace cleansing Healing setting free! Let Me Lift your burden for you... from you...

i have a complexity... a situation that is a prayer situation an urgent prayer situation not asked for but called for by the situation of somebody coming into my consciousness a story coming my way and somehow not letting go that challenges all my credentials... who is critically ill (though not hospital bound) medical prognosis rubbish- they are lucky still to be alive?.... they are trying to get some medical help not available in the uk that's seen as a kindof last resort... success has i hear been seen with this for their kind of illness .. and it costs substantially more than it appears they actually have... and for them... where is that money going to come from in spite of their own efforts... them being ill and all that... it feels it is so simple for GOD to provide that money..

i am being challenged... there have been a number of times where i have done heavy prayer sessions for critically ill folks.. (it's true i have not as yet had the privelege of actually standing at bedsides) and yup i have carried on praying right up to their funeral... these in the main have been one or two folks i know through church and it has been a privelege and certainly i have got loads out of it and also got loads of intonation about the process... during the year one person died who had loads of christians praying home and abroad and somebody praying reported they had had this vision while they were praying of them standing before Jesus and Jesus giving them the option of whether they came back into life or went to Heaven....  i was deeply moved by this and though it might feel to be perplexing since the critically ill person in this case making that decision in the vision was young.... i have felt something of this for two others that come to mind who died....   the truth is like this... sometimes folks just don't quite have the desire to live here on this earth amongst those who love them....  and GOD's Response appears to be one of dignified Grace....

Andrew Pearkes tells a story of a very dear friend of his who becomes critically ill... Andrew and a colleague go to that friend's house and begin to pray for his freind....  while they are praying something is just being revealed and another inhabitant of the house arrives demanding they leave the house at once!... well they do... and shortly after that the friend dies....  listening to the telling of this tale amidst many tellings of many healings ... one is filled with questions and inquisitions... but in real life the you're only human person on hand can only do what eventually it is they do... this is a dramatic account of real practice.. the most vivid aspect being the 'outcome' ... AP has told he only prays in person....   the outcome is the what would you do's of real life are truely tested by the proof of what you do.....  and yes how much are we constrained by the limitations of a limited christian culture for providing role model training; and one's own personality and personal ettiquette.. that wwyd wwJD? and where is JC? like now... and should one carry on praying when does one let go of a focus of prayer and when does one plough on regardless and where are the connections... i like that it would seem Jesus lost no-one even raising a folk or two from the dead...  and i radically love that Jesus along with Elijah and Enoch(?) are swept off this earth spontaneously... so where does belief faith doing and all that counts come into this...? i found myself recently in the story of Elisha raising the boy from the dead... and one is amazed by his boldness and counterculturalism ... and yet the outcome of the story tells the story!...  did he just go ahead and do what he believed follow GOD how? had he loads of practice before he got that far?

the thing though is the bottom line is that i feel drawn into this particular situation to pray for this particular person who i know very little about...  (which actually is my prefered starting point....).... and it seems it won't let me go !... and i feel disturbed cos i recognise a kindov well the person on my plate is not as far as i know a christian... and i suspect that a view of 'the church' and all theri carryings on doesn't quite help there! but that's not Jesus! i could reply... the church would love me for saying that!.... is this a serious point though... that based on the church Jesus is measured ... should we take that one more seriously ? or are we 'beyond reach' in the comfort of our own zone ? ... however back on piste... is this remotely relevant?... 

but i am troubled by something and i feel i am struggling to deal with stuff relating to prayer.. i feel almost at a loss how to pray!... 

one interlude later:

GOD BEING GOD brings through Inspiration... in the meantime somebody turned up for a bit.. asks me how i am i say i am struggling with some prayer stuff... they say nothing ... there is something of GOD in this you can't find a good christian when.... like i want to be dealing with GOD direct ... and GOD wants me to deal with GOD direct... a whiff of slowness and suddenly we is well.... clutching at our neighbours.... 

and me i am thinking... how else can i help?

GOD BLESS!

Peace and Love,