have been having very lovely fellowship with my church .... i saw a grown man cry having coffee with me... someone told me not just me but those present but had told somebody else that i was the person that made going to church real... i felt really surprised shocked cos it seemed ridiculous that who me in many ways the exact opposite of the person who has been a Spiritual rock a very real christian... and slightly embarrassed who me? and there were tears in theri eyes and me i was well .. i am humbled! ... i was telling someone at the time that it was absolutely fine to be a 'bad' christian....ie bad as in the eyes of the surfing self elect and all their acolites i was trying to explain it was actually a Blessing cos it was about being real.... all those victorian good manners when all you want to do is scream and shout and swear! but hesitate for what it will do for your image... some of the best nervous breakdowns start some place like that.... christians giving themselves a bad name... it's an interesting dilemma.. whose camp are you in? and how tough it can seem when you can't see Jesus for what other christians are getting up to in public ,,,,the non christian is offended you are offended... so in that moment you actually have more in common with them than your own church? and then... suddenly oops there you are critisising your own church .... and everyone else and so on... happen to me? it was one of those rare days when everyone was crosser than me about the stuff i am trying not to focus on when usually everyone thinks it's me that's got the problem!... in truth it is both all our problems including those who thinks they is in the right or ain't gonna change till someone in a grey suit persuades them... (fat chance Jesus has then?) as well as none of our business... GOD has got us by the short and curlies One to one and that's all we have to get excited about and tell everyone about... so if that's not working never mind anyone else who is apparently carrying the same claims as you ... if anything just ... well when christians ... even address me and i want to disassociate with them almost spontaneously... no we is not of the same stuff and look at you are you serious you want me to be like you? cos there's surely no way you wants to be like me? i mean look at your investment! so how is it we ends up belonging to eachother more than we belongs to Jesus? i should try saying that perhaps... there's so many control freaks about... me i don't expect folks to think like me .. all i want is that folks think like Jesus ultimately and that they think for themselves till GOD gets inside their heads and breaks down the gossip and chinese whispers nature of their so called christian headgear... and all the fear factor holding everything in place... what good is that to anyone?...
this afternoon i found myself challenged and completely vindicated... i know some folks getting married.... and just happen to find an order of service thing .... vows before GOD read Numbers 30 ! nd ask yourself who is your father male or female.... then seems those present at the wedding are supposed to make some vows of their own... to uphold the marriage.... what!!!!????? why would i do that? if my relationship of one to One is with GOD then surely it's a little odd to be making cultural promises like that...!! what on earth does one let onesself in for... it seems a bit like the confirmation vows one makes to repel all evil or a godparent's thing it's almost like no-one expects you to do any of that just say it so we can get through to the winetasting afterwards... there's no way i can take that with any level of integrity.. all this thick and thin stuff... if one believes the Numbers 30 stuff and by the way who is your Father? then what is the thick and thin of taking on this cultural undertaking?... it's up to them surely and their one to Ones what happens next?but me i like that GOD is in control so i really do not see the point of having to worry about another person beyond how GOD worries about them charitas like.... a certain distance has occured between me and one of the about to me wedlocked person... seems they already got locked up away from the grace and sociality that was once enjoyable broadminded involved with many different people .... where did it all go wrong ? they got swallowed up... i tell a christian who surprises me by agreeing ...
meanwhile back at the ranch during the year have been reacquainted with two of the people who i first met when they were single and now married with two small kids.... one of them wanted to be a preacher i do recall and was gifted in many ways.. now life is all about survival in the world and of course the importance of church in that... would either of them change theri minds if they had the time back? who knows.... but i do recall seeing one of them shortly after their wedding looking in some degree of shock!... GOD does one to ones so why do we have to play those simpering pantos about folks being couples... or listen to folks not do stuff or do stuff cos they is married... someone who is single recently started a longdistance relationship... and me well want to distance myself from what is not my ambition does not look remotely evidential of the GOSPEL luckily we have now had a frank discourse on the matter... it's not about what's right or wrong with them.... loook i say to them if the best thing you have ever felt is not given to you in that One to one place you ain't met GOD... and i explain that relationships i seem to remember means that you got someone else in your headspace competing for what or who is you... time energy and everything else... and so i yet again tell the story of JHeidi Baker's marriage and i feel i can't really relate fully to anyone who isn't interested in whether GOD has a better plan that GOD might have a pretty Awesome alternative lined up ... the worldly stuff just does not make for any remote sense of good anything!...
here's another anomaly... does this happen your way... couple get married invite the whole church to the wedding but not to the reception... make sure enough wine is for the feast of special guests? or is Jesus secretly invited? where Jesus goes i follow... ever gatecrashed a wedding looking for Jesus? clearly all that Jesus stuff is well are weddings for Jesus or without?
i've ended up with the water into wine when it was the Gift of multiplication i had to rescue a conversation on well i well and truely gatecrashed that moment.... 'it was symbolic like the feeding of the 5 000..... nothing like that happens these days...' whoosh i was there! ...ok let's ask it this way... have you heard no ... have you experienced yourself the Gift of multiplication? my lovely lovely non christian freinds that was a bit too much to dally for....
GOD is GOOD
GOD BLESS!
Peace and Love,
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