Message #3534

[ecuworrier]

church is the place to learn about GOD surely? v church is the place to learn about church with a bit of Spirituality thrown in if you are lucky...

ok GOD has done it again! back to what i was wittering on about then pressed delete...  welcome to the irritation zone!....  someone has sat next to me and it raises my hackles... they do not need to sit there! me i am here doing my blog and listening to music so a solitudinouos space task... surely? and there comes someone who just does not appreciate somebody else's requirements!.....   like they done it deliberately? one hopes not!.... but they did the did...  this happened earlier and i thought it extremely weird!.... i got on a bus and tried to select a space equidistantly distant from other folks taking the next best option sitting behind somebody ... bizarrely the person getting on behind me decides the best place to sit is next to me! i turn to look at a woman in 20/30s looking quite normal but with this weird action.. i mean why would anyone not want a bit of space and why me?  a movement from me attracts the attention of the person in front and there we are in the zone of anxiety and calling out to GOD and seeing stuff and calling out to GOD.... i am saying to GOD i hope they're  getting off soon ... i just do not feel at ease...  so i've asked GOD and there follows an immediate ... person infront turns to person next to me and asks if the bus stops at my stop!  i am feeling hemmed in and thinking ok thus far i've been praying but....  behind us is an empty seat i ask the person next to me if they wouldn't mind letting me out they cordially get up .. and sit in the seat i was about to... leaving me searching out a completely different seat .... i stare out disgruntled but at least i am not hemmed in with a spiritual view that i would have to attend to in more depth i can see....  this year has indeed been about the development of Discernment not just actually Hearing GOD but also seeing stuff that has been very startling and very instructive and very depressing!  hands up anyone who thinks we are talking about non christians...  well sometimes yes but  we are talking about christians too!  should i be surprised perhaps not.... it just feels like one is on a hiding to nothing .... there is me wanting a bit of peace and quiet and stuff to make at least some sense and finding 'the bad guys' are lurking out of every corner....    here is me in that rather desperate time of realisation....  this **** is nuts (that that is! that that is not is not!) at my church while other churches are well they're all of the same cloth-the ones round here anyhows.... it was during my excursions away that i found someone who i know a little but had not seen for a while in the same space. during an interval time i hung out and caught up with them ... well we were sitting at a table where there were one or two others too... one of them was eulogising about a church close by ... (by reputation)and i was less than enthusiastic... mmm yeah well mmm like the worship ...am completely nonplussed by the speaking... person i know for different reasons is not overly enthusiastic either... i am curious where they go and am surprised by their answer but hear a sense of priorities they are meeting ... there we are two very different people far from the madding crowd of our own environments listening to folks distant perceptions of our madding crowd environmnets.... now i have already said round here they go by the same cloth.... my fellow traveller comes out with this: the pastor's wives all look so depressed....  my eyebrows shoot .. i say nothing i am looking for what the others are going to say.... the looks say it all at first recoil then it's almost like we can't say it ... well we shouldn't not if we read the daily mail version of the bible  order order order silence!   we end up on the tag   of well.... the place almost of agreement-but like i say order order! me i am going on about imperfect churches in a dreary well what do you expect voice  i am weary! and the point has to be well where is your focus young person!??? hmmmm?  it's obvious innit?   needless to say the company is all women.....  there is something in the reaction of one of the others though that pains me to remember... it's like something of not the most obvious part of their response a woman in many years of churchlife we have been let down by... well expectations of church stoopid ... women especially and this is where well we shouldn't really be there! not if we seriously believe in Jesus surely... or should we?  is this heresy?

i was recently listening to a sermon (you see i really do only have myself to blame!) where a church that espoused a liberal feel was giving the what's for.. well the expert witness for the prosecution was.... he started quite gay!:  in a household where there are single parents the single parent is the head of the household....  but where there is an adult man he's the one who has the spiritual authority it's biblical if you have a problem with what i say you'll have to talk to .... he was the guest hilariously the boss of the church was not there and so....  well ....  i watch a chosen single woman in midage standing next to another turn to the other and make a face.... is this a farce or what?  are we women seriously by the logic of that treasured view therefore second class citizens well actually sounds like biblically we are   or if we don't think so we are in error like  we should.... pondering some vague notions of tangent earlier on this... methinks...  hmmm now if the ultimate spiritual authority is male then... doesn't that make women unnecessary like the world would be a better place if women just left their babies in the hands of all those self adhering gods and got out of the way altogether....   i mean if women are spiritually inferior cause they's been made so doesn't that mean we are naturally sinful ... and how on earth can we be better mothers than men ? and why would men want to hang out with us ....   ? to er have something to do? to keep us in order? there are lots of themes all entwining here ......     and time space is short right now.... but it touches on some stuff  and it sure extrapolates on some recent gunky stuff .....
and of course sounds like we get the blame for misperforming males..... i suspect more on this anon!


GOD BLESS!

Peace and Love,