if anyone is in any doubt that i have been avoiding lent like the plague ... yesterday was the evidence... i go to housegroup.. was i keen well no actually.... but i gave GOD the benefit of the doubt....  and tumbled late into someone's birthday seems i was the only but one person not to know... oh well arriving late seemed not to make it so late... the cake was still warm! and someone arrived just as i did .. the talk was short readings from someone's lent blog ... and their reflections of lent... now did you know that the same competitiveness that occurs by peers of similar focal points occurs amongst bloggers .. well now i do know!... so, one is listening a bit like the malefluous Salieri listening to a Mozart composition... the one thing that made me sigh with relief was the mention of the three blog readers ... but hey that mention is a joke !

what was nice was that a person was doing their own tthing and fishing their own thoughts on issues like Jesus in the desetr and the Temptation and stuff.... but to be honest all i could hear was a very familiar thought process going on .... seems like folks in the chiurch had said this is how it is threfore if you accep0t stuff like this now interpret... or am i bein unfair here is it that .... maybe i am in a different boat on the Jesus is the LORD THAT SAVES the GOD portion of Him thinks different from the likes of us.... while everyone else seems o think Jesus is t5his guy therefore he thinks like the rest of us..... i was falling asleep.... an exercise that was encouraged by the blog artist was to be thankful fto GOD for stuff... that what GOD Gives IS enoough?  i confess i had lost track but i of the listening but i like that notion... the group leader decided that was a brilloitan new idea so we should go round giving thanks for one thing each.... well i was last... and had plenty of time to think there were two things on my mind here.... one was this the exercise is apparently to encourage us to do something we don't usually do ie to thank GOD for something that has happened today/this week....   i felt miffed here was i whose complete faithwalk is apparently completely derogified by my peers well they can't be my peers since they don't really accept me as peerof the likes of them... so i thought hey this exercise isn't really for me given that i ok could do more thanking GOd but in compasrison to someone who has to think now what have i to thatnk GOD for in the last week ? month?... me well i feel insulted... but it is a way of getting me to shut up... so they have achieved something... actually silencing me is giving me something to think about and that is this what the **** am i doing there anyway... othere than to spend some silent time ewith GOD well ki did kindov think i might get some of that!.....    the other aspect to i didn't want to participate was.... what the **** these dguys doreally don't caqre enough to listen to me anyway.... spi am certainly not bbeing taken with Spiritual respect or human respect .... they don't even want to ask me what i want to pbe prayed for... d.... then we had lots of liturgy i couldn't be assed to listen to and Communion.... thankfully i was last cos i have for some time relieved myself of the religious ritual ... not fit to serve .. can't be assed to be savserved by folks that  well whose relreligiosity i just do not feel a part of and don't want to partake.... so me i now wait for the end and take to the crumbs (usually great chunks left over) and could get drunk on the wine.... the Communion Table is about Jesus and the Jesus and me...so i have taken it to heart.... and cut out the middle man? lent is tuff man... it means that folks has that terriblre struggle with them biscuits... and we apparently pray for folks ie friends to help out when it gets rough....   

prayers.... one of the people has some really good news they have been accepted for a course that we have all been pondering prayers for for some time.... especially following rejection from one course donor.....   we hear a very detailed account of proceedings they are really upbeat.... i am thinking this is gonna go on for ever so i get my coat and am off when sudednly oh it's prayer time... one of the folks there whohas been generously listening to all this with great encouragemnt... ... oh my.... they are having a truethfully awful time.....     so everyonre gets prayers except me..... o fcourse....   so i have to fetch one of the men who is more sympathetic so i give them something to pray about and i pray for them...


ok this course thing i have been singularly unenthusiastic to pray for.... it's one of those situations that student applicant to student accepted is a very high g ratio indeed it is a course that is vocational it is a course that matters... i have no idea how the coleges get to choose and discard folks for these places.....   so i would like to think in retrospect that the folks that get on these courses are indeed the best equip0ped people with the biggest hearts and the constientious motives to see theri best through the folks that is the recipients of this training.... and i am left pondering .... look i have spent enough time around the person in question to understand their value systems as far as a practise of them is concerned and they is somewhat squewhiff!  with all that prayer they has succeeded... which is great news.... me i is undecided as to whether it is a good thing but i guess GOD was Graceious in some way or other... or wwas GOD what next we will see....  anyway the acandidature is set...

i have been spennding some time today doing lent... myself ... suggesting a design for a leaflet for Good Fri/Easter... choosing pictures and the like it was a deeply moving experience... the more one focuses the deeper one comes into Communion somehow....Proverbs 1 33 but whoever listens to me will live in safety
   and be at ease, without fear of harm.?

now that last night has given me much to reflect on
 1 My son, if you accept my words
   and store up my commands within you,
2 turning your ear to wisdom
   and applying your heart to understanding?
3 indeed, if you call out for insight
   and cry aloud for understanding,
4 and if you look for it as for silver
   and search for it as for hidden treasure,
5 then you will understand the fear of the LORD
   and find the knowledge of God.

the thunderous Prov 2

there is something about this passage that rattles me within




GOD BLESS!


Peace and Love,