Message #259

[ecuworrier]

hey... found a ITcaf that's open late! how cool is that?

am back to....  well there is a GOD Story in somewhere...

i muttered yesterday about decisions decisions decisions about this here course! well i was having anxieties and doubts last night... and trying to talk to GOD and seemingly hearing that i shouldn't do it... was up late ... and ok well i was intensely aware that doing a course recently over several weeks was a cause of multiple tension... i had had to decide in a hurry or so i was led to believe ... i mean two days or so... when if it was a GOD thing well then..... pretty much the same thing... the whole process is emphasising how guarded i feel and how ecu the unready i must be .. i mean what sort of soldier of Christ huh Follower of Christ i mean in real time dither for half an hour and they've all gone!  Jesus didn't hang about did He? human decision making is a trust thing who is ready for anything? i mean in terms of actually being on the ball? i feel really deflated! so there i was in bed just thinking about all the stuff that seemed so oh no not ok in the last course like shoudl i really be doing this... i mean any self respecting Christian surely wouldn't or would they? i certainly have had a mixed bag as far as encouragement is concerned.... ah yes but what really made me a little wary last night with the seemingness of GOD said no? was.....  i started to think ... now how much of what we see as the Holy Spirit is actually what we believe is the persona of the church in some guise.. does this seem like an excuse to you?  well last night i kinda went to sleep pretty much ... you know when you are having those conversations that you don't really need to have cos the matter has been settled... but you don't somehow believe it has been ... that's when sometimes there's something ...  well do you walk away when it happens.....    i did meditate on...

AND oh dear recalling an encounter of association with someone who was on one of those far away place journeys that opened their senses ... i recalled that they had said that what they saw as something of the church ie being around Christians was not as deep as some of the rest of things.....   that led them to conclude that there was a lot deeper stuff than what christians held oozed... it's funny that i should remember that last night but it fitted perfectly into .. what i have been feeling generally about church ......  but more specifically i felt i had an air of rebellion an air of impatience an air of sulk and running away in the previous course.... me i chose to give this up to GOD.... my whole motivation  Bible readings stuff about enemies and the like oh.... i didn't feel helped at all... 

now what with the changing of the clocks there was a distinct possibility that i would oversleep.... but i didn't .... and the alarm clock went off and i heard it and everything about me waking up and all that seemed geared to me preparing for the course.... sooooo with much more prayers and Bible readings off i set about to be late ... i can honestly report that GOD was looking out... i kept asking all the way for shoudl i go down this road that road etc the sight of the Holy Spirit led all the way to the course...  on the way i felt GOD iterate 'I want you to finish the course'

today was unlike the first day of the other course....  in all sorts of ways......   so i am back to a course of late night endeavours to grapple with what i feel ill equipped to achieve ....though the first homework is light in comparison...  well the experience of the previous course has set me up in some ways to be in a sort of role that at least today i took to like a daisy to the sunrise... and i didn't complain once!  however i did resolve to give more time to GOD and did kindov  almost....

the reading of psalm 17

as i am writing ..... something unpleasant is dawning on me  on the very subject of the Holy Spirit mixed in with the unpleasant and invalid views and subrogation of the church there is entirely the possibitlity that me recalling some conversation of old has some broader resonance and indeed writing these words is indeed giving some feelings of setting free .... this is why i trust GOD and not the charlatans of church philosophy aka known as small t-theology and here we are back at that rage and resonance which is precisely this!.... if it's not in the church where should one look to encounter the true Gospel and should one be reticent to ditch the whole gamesmanship of man's schemes a previous and the  ... i suspect i will be writing on that more anon but for now..

Lyrics:
In Christ alone my hope is found,
He is my light, my strength, my song;
this Cornerstone, this solid Ground,
firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
when fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My Comforter, my All in All,
here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone! who took on flesh
Fulness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones he came to save:
Till on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied -
For every sin on Him was laid;
Here in the death of Christ I live.

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain:
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave he rose again!
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me,
For I am His and He is mine -
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death,
This is the power of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath.
Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.

some of those words i sing louder than others... it has to be said though am now thoroughly bored of the song especially after seeing a Stuart Townend church gig thing

hey if you are flagging or tired prayers for you too GOD BLESS YOU!


GOD BLESS!

Peace and Love,