momentum of change momentum of Grace... and the angry bit at the bottom of the pit....  would you complain?

it's them it's them it's them it's all the other one!

well that's how's i have been complaining about..

i feel unsettled ... i don't see that i am uncommitted but by my thoughts and howling i am... i want to be uncommitted to the church but committed to GOD's LOVE and it is not working.... GOD is committed beyond the church yes! but that doesn't mean that GOD is uncommitted to His church... why is it then that i find the person who walks past the christian at times more pallatable honest than the christian his/herself that is a possiblility and as i think these words i know it is not true ... you see i shoudl have more in common with the christian but instead i find that i am siding with the angry / non interested/ i am very fine just as i am etc person and everything else the person might be... a spiteful position to be in dishonest only in so far as it is about not listening to GOD denying GOD's solutions to mindset control ... all the stuff the platitudes and words of ... well worry anxiety belief  of certainty uncertainty.. all the words of 'help now what am i supposed to do?' the query of every christianwho just does well know they have reached that point of foreverness but just haven't a clue how to proceed so they put their faith in church... the body, the institution of GOD...  the reality of a life of faith... based pretty much on what has gone before well actually.. i mean .. before we took those steps we sat looking on and there was a holiness about the place and the christian was pretty much invisible but to occasionally present themselves as .... proudly they were christians... associated with.. a faith walk....  mysterious full of complexity some things breathtaking and some things pretty flat really.... with just about every other prejudice that we could think of to have and more beside.... still we were intrigued and wanted to know more....  actually what we wanted was the water itself......   christians were people we could talk to who were proud about their faith,,, but who actually well.....  apart from the occasional stances... that they set themselves....   well what who was Jesus?    a man to chat to occasionally ocassionally sympathetic in places others wouldn't go occasionally the last person to be sympathetic where you might expect them?   but who is Jesus... do we not feel as bewildered by all this as we feel glad to be? surely this cannot be alone about a feeling of assurance we will get to Heaven......  Love the Lord your GOD .... and the other is like it love your neighbour as yourself!  we get the last bit both right and wrong all the time... but what about the first bit.. why is the standard for loveing GOD restricted to the limits we set...? is it or is it well why is it that some folks get handpicked for journeys and others well have to struggle like they are not meant to be there in the first place?  is that true though... the reality of view and perception and the reality of being the real being of GOD is well.... in different places... so why do we then rely on the view we get from those around us as the standard to live by or the reaction to those around us sufficient standard to live or not to live by... it's all irrelevant.... and that's where my sticking place is.....  it's all irrelevant but it is my all consuming attention.. well not totally consuming.... but that's where my efforts seem to be lodged!  i was reminded earlier of the snake in the church lecture Heidi Baker gave last year... that i heard...  it was really interesting ....  cos at the time i heard this with some folks i knew and i was feelin that this is exactly what was supposed to happen... tjhey they they needed to hear this!...  oh yes they did!... and i felt a little deflated personally ... we don't get this! why does GOD put so many obstacles in our paths... ? they are the people in the church who are such hard work and we despair of we despise them revile them and feel depressed and please don't let me sit next to them... but they are a Ministry opportunity but to Heaven's match GOD wants to love them like GOD wants to love you... and half the time neither of them are actually paying the blindest bit of attention to where GOD wants to get to... it's all their fault it always is and we simply cannot live theri lives for them and they cannot live our lives for us ... stalemate..of my vision is better than yours.. but what of GOD's VISION....  mindset control... a mind given to Christ a heart made in Heaven A new life that is for living.. can we do better than what has gone before ... we should do.. if the words of the Bible are to be believed at least as far as we can look to GOD TO DO! TO ASK TO DO!

what about you what about you ... what about me what about me when GOD is saying with exasperation? no, infinite time GOD HAS ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD patience... ME ME ME

GOD BLESS!

Peace and Love,