we seem to be focusing on counselling in crises... that perhaps overtakes from what previously would have been given to best of ability as pastoral care freinds family neighbours spiritual leaders etc in the past

is the modern era better for these approaches?  i mean if one has not had the experience of counselling can one judge that? 

I suppose that I have been in a number of situations where counselling could have come into play, but didn't, and I'm not sure that I suffered.  In some cases it impacted on me directly - such as when my father died whilst I was in India and seriously ill myself; sometimes it has been indirect, such as when I have been responsible for a group of pupils (in this case as a dorm. parent) when one of their siblings have died.  In all the cases I can think of, the important think was that we weren't pushed to a counsellor, but people were there for me and others to talk to, cry on the shoulders of, vent off anger, ... in a context of love and care - even when they weren't my own family.  When I was suspended from teaching some years back, following an incident where I accidentally hit a pupil and they complained (and I was eventually exonerated), it was my small group from church and my wife and elder daughter (the other was away at uni. most of the time) who encouraged and supported me.

I think that, with the increasing breakdown of the family over the past 50/60 years, many people no longer have that fall-back situation to 'protect their backs'.