ah peace and quiet...

the last coupla days have been really interesting..... yesterday and today some reacquaintance with the past

1) yesterday..... i am on my way to watch some footie when i bump into someone i have not spoken to for years! a few sentenses gives a synopsis of what's happened in between.... then it's my turn ... the only thing that's ???? well the only thing i can think of is new church  and all that GOD has done with it....   me well i find myself peered at... i have kindof spoken in a kindof play down way cos.... i am speaking to someone who is highly intelligent and is a detailed thinker and someone one feels one can learn from ..one can certainly discuss both religion and Spirituality and spirituality they have that sort of amazing mind and powers of concentration it's like they are always working but always achieving something for their efforts... i mean how many folks can jsay that!?  the trouble is.... well if there is a trouble i find myself feeling a bit in acorner and saying to GOD help!? and mutter on about religion and science and world view thinking in science being applied to the legalisatuion of the text of the Bible sort of thing ... while assuming an understanding of GOD ... 'GOD cannot be understood' is the reply i mean it's obvious the tone of voice... like why am i even entertaining such a notion when i am not it's the others i'm trying to say... while me i just want to observe GOD as GOD DOES....

all those years ago i was introduced to the concept of some mysticism courtesy of the writings of a mystic.... well i did have a loojk at a couple of pages and decided then and there it was not for me.....  but now yestereday i find myself suggested to that i might now be ready to read this material... me i find myself with no such enthusiasm all i have said is how fed up i am with religion... (surely as i was then?)... and really i just stopped on my way to watch some footie and now i is feelin a little misunderstood... 

it's weird to have that sort encounter... GOD's Timing is always perfect... and me all i can say is that i do feel at home with even with where i am at....  i do wonder though....

2) today... courtesy of an invite from someone i know who is taking part in an exhibition of art with friends at a sort of houseparty thing.....  i go along cos i've been invited ... i discover how little i know of my inviter when i find myself amidst an amazing gentle and healing atmosphere in a very new age setting everything everyone here has one or other take on spirituality... and although some of it has a very familiar feel and on the whole is positive and peaceful in 'persuasion?' me i thinks help! Jesus!... +- the person who invited me is not there .... i am a little glad of that! but very conscious of the sensitive vibe and that me.... i am so glad that there are some other tourists there bustling through the artwork...  it is really a beautiful setting and beautiful artwork and very thoughtfully put together by the most apparently nice folks ....  and i am a little tense as i am confronted by motifs of stuff belonging to time gone by as well as an unfamiliarity of this time.... it's the second time recently that i have been hanging around art and not a christian in sight... i am finally given the opportunity to talk about Jesus when i start chatting with someone i mention the person who is not there which leads me to a question that GOD has arranged that i can talk about nothing but my Faith practice.... it feels a little odd but i sail into it.... here i am standing in the midst of beauty and various assault on mind and senses....  of aesthetic.... actually let's be honest this is shangri la of sorts.... and here is a fresh from church christian .....feeling embarrassed almost.... we don't do heaven in church let's be honest ... is it cos we is too busy waitin to see how GOD does it in the afterlife? well i feel challenged  and yet while i am certainly in a wonderful and muystical place and one that assaults the senses with reminders of the past there i stand and observe and then realise you know what i am gonna trust GOD.....    what it reminds me is all this environmnet that opens the senses takes me to a place of thinking that.... the time i most had open senses was having a breakdown  and living in an environment that had an aspect of rough diamond version of what i see here... and let's be honest christians do bland very well!.../ though some ....  they is partial to a bit of alcohol or insence or candles for effect... well it's biblical isn't it.....

anyhow here i is coming out as a christian slightly uncertainly but amqzingly the more i gets into a short and somewhat sanitized version of my story i finds myself with this....   you see i remember when i was a bit more interested in what.....   well certainly there were manuy aesthetic and sensual qualities to behold... what i used to find that i share was you would go out from this gorgeous sense of place... and come back completely rattled desperate to avoid anything that would yes i did use the word 'infect'  this pure space so like you'd be desperate not to encounter strangers on the street etc not touch or even look in theri eyes for fear of... and inevitably you had failed and you would come back all irritable......   nowadays i wants to pray for people i previously would avoid.....  Jesus has done something to my heart...

it is part of my testimony that reading the Gospels ups the anti in terms of what one expects from church or christians generally... i am excited by this the Gospel stories... i am excited by Jesus wants to Bless my enemies that Jesus can Heal the 5000 or the ceremonially uinclean lepper or feed the 5 000 or raise folks from the dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  i conclude i am in the best place  i feel that what well i finish with a flourish i say: look the GOSPEL speaks for itself... but Jesus means the Lord that Saves so if you EVER>>>> need to ... you can call out His Name... at this point the room is entirely empty but for the one person who has been graciously listening to a slightly rough diamond person explain the journey from shangrila ... i am aware iof my slghtly political bent small p... and Jesus certainly does the bizz Jesus cares about everyone not just the people i care about.;.. i like that...

GOD BLESS!

Peace and Love,