just briefly on the point of counsellors being shipped in to devastating circumstances which is fairly rare in any case other than really dreadful shocks:     no counsellor is going to do or say anything other than to initially and briefly support people in their grief to say that it's OK to cry or to feel or not to feel anything - no counsellor "does" anything other than that.
In the past society has said DO or DON'T do this or that, a counsellor's role is to say - just do whatever you want that's going to be helpful for you (and that does not include harming yourself or others).
Proper counselling is not useful nor appropriate for months or years after the event and that is only if the person wants it.