there's me an GOD is all over me yesterday... all day... and all day i is grumpy.... i wanted to do that! can't do someone else is doin.... not only is someone else doin ... but i has to join in ... and do you thinks me is supposed to like that? and just fit in like that ... i do with all emotion suspended i do everything that's asked of me but hey me is moody all right.... but it's not that.... come the end of the day and i is frantically thinkin well everything so far..... and i still gotta do some choosin me i has left stuff in limbo and no arguments me is right out there not thinkin about anythin... but pressured to think of somethin ... to do... 'you've had blahblah time to come up with somethin...' now i cannot argue with that in fact somehow the fact that i has not for all the effort of research and tryin this and tryin that to get to that place ... and all that... and all dat think and motion and stuff and all that there is to show for it is .... well i haven't really got anything ..... it's hard to remember that GOD is in Control when it is actually you in the frontline of the question and there you stands with nothing to show for all that effort and industry and well tbh the last week has been spent sleeping and me too is given me a hard time.... i am embarrassed with myself!... afterwards this sleepy sister sits on a bench and tries to have this conversation with GOD.... what can one say!?
well GOD has been busy throughout the day and seriously the flack has to be that me i has been sleepin where i shouldsa bin graftin.... i wakes up in the mornin and says to myself hey THIS is the reason why you shoulda bin doin what... me i has lost the plot completely and i feel for a moment quite hysterical if it wasn't for that all i wants to do is go back to bed and .... sleep... i mean does it matter.... well like i keeps on sayin GOD had me busy yesterday and showed me up.... let's see now ...
i walk down a road i don't need to and as i do so i has a sneaky suspicion and that is not wrong.... someone is walking a dog that is very unsteady and looks quite poorly ... so prayers for poorly dog ;
unemotional but co-operative and pretty much effective hey that's a miracle.... i had a chat with Jesus well actually it was the person that played Jesus... should have been a woman methinks!... just cos i refer to a person!.... i quite like that thought for easter a bearded woman at the back of the church all beat up on... waiting to take headline stage at the front .... we are interrupted by an old oppo of mine Hallelujah person who i'm delighted to see still boldly for the Lord... they asks Jesus person if they is a christian hey me i hasn't asked myself in so many ways and actually they gets a response..... an admission of guilt.... well i had been wondering how one could play Jesus and not be affected... when actually being a christian was all too much! too many questions i found out that seems wasn't the church it was the overcoming of Spirituality... on the great theme of another charismatic bites the dust ..... it really is tough this story reminds me of another story of the being overwhelmed by the organisation the spirit of the organisation and though able to function well in the organisation(church) is unable to function with a familiar degree of adequacy in the outside world... so one has to go and it is the church.... well church sure can have spirit of its own and sometimes this really can be problematic to discern the difference.... ; then a wad of poorliness i gets to ... i say to one i will pray for you ... i is out with this person and they say yes please pray.... i feel quite overcome!...
ah yes back to that there bench .... you see i am giving up my ideas to GOD thinking of the complexity as well as the complete chaos of determining a course that will on time deliver the product of GOD's WORK that is with me actually paying attention and being a part of that you see GOD's Work is already done in heaven....
well i feel a little overcome when GOD delivers the first bit... trouble is for all that askin... we better start believin!
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