oo....
 no computter for a few days

so trying to recall..... starting with last Thursday...

well... my pernicious frustration with christians got the better of me... result well i could at least do the maunday thursday vigil jhuh!?  arrived at church late.... stood outside just could not quite get myself to go inside... i was tired thirsty and hungry perfect for a vigil on the one hand but ... i got a sarnie and sat in the church garden... would they have had snacks along with them ....remembering the enthusiasm of someone previously for scenting the garden with flowers with scent.... it was thoughtfully made a special place and there was something of that hue... it was quiet serene and even though the gate was open and folks were about nobody else was there... somehow i prefered this though, come on even peter had company though no-one had anyone to make sure they stayed awake... having just youself has its advantages...  there was something about feeling like one was in the garden of gethsemsane lightly lit from around i looked out on it thinking there is no physical sight of Jesus and it felt a bit daft really ... i wondered though what would Jesus have been praying about and there ... i thought of the once and for all time theme that changed lives for everyone and i guess i prayed for that one... i was aware that there was planned some kindof passion play amongst some folks and i was aware i was gonna miss this i had stuff i had to be elsewhere for..... i felt on the one hand torn but on the other hand there was something about the once and for all time that made all this kindov irrelevant.. i mean yes it is important for some folks it certainly will loop in folks that have a GOD background and are somehow someplace else... writing now i think of the film Jesus of Montreal there is something poignant about the impact of Jesus on the person playing Jesus who is not a believer to start with then starts finding they start acting weird like some of the stuff going on in the world and the church just has this weird effect on him and he starts getting all involved .. i like that theme that playing Jesus once and for all time for him it certainly was so as he has  a short life and become an organ donor to keep the spirits up for other folks... that kindov impact ... saving lives quality of lives that is the business of Jesus that you can become someone just by taking on body parts of another the miracles of modern medicine superimposed on the fluidity of composition of Jesus Christ of the Saviour ... it was a shockingly poignant film in that respect ... but for us that shelve our beliefs for another time it's all well part of the course GOD warriors we ain't Christ livers we aint and the whole scene of landscape of GOD as GOD falls with impartiality on  the world Heaven above to earth a dominion supreme to come and render not just the validity of alternative human laws but the actuality a Dominion to die for... if i hear one more christian talk about the afterlife as something to look forward to while getting on quite nicely with the skin we is on...

eventually i left the garden and on my way home passed another church one or two were leaving i though ok i'm in on this one... i open the door to find the church leader peering at me ... i ask if i have missed the vigil... turns out i have ... ah well i say Jesus is still up still waiting for our attention ... and go home hardly pleased with myself for that remark.... still i resolve to go to church the next day to our service...

GOD BLESS!

Peace and Love,