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Body / Re: lent blog 2013
« Last post by ecuworrier on March 30, 2013, 15:16:08 »have had some troubles getting on ... so tried to catch up :
ok here i am again unable to get where i want to in more ways than one ... with loads to catch up on....
let's start with what's on my mind.... i have been bunking everything but i am not alone.... on weds i sat in a cafe GOD got me to do so and i am next to a dear lady who chats to me i ask her if she is going to church she clearly does this is an exciting week for christians... she only goes to the sunday service these days... for the GOOD NEWS! i kind of like that... like what is the point of the rest of it?.... well the Holy week leaves like a smoke drifting around that settles in the atmosphere this is very different from other jhholidays yesterday evening everywhere was sooo peaceful..... i bunked housegroup oh and the vigil and last supper and
and today too... i miss the walk of witness and the morning and afternoon services... i am pondering this it's true i woke up late but there i am in the afternoon and i can see folks going into a nearby church and me i is i don't want to... i am so enjoying my solitude....
earlier in the week oh was it oh yes it was ... weds i was at a bus stop standing there and i saw a church leader coming my way who i hadn'tseen fo r a while... we chatted i explained that i had not been in church much for a while i was waiting for a bus and was already late and i was scratching the surface and i could see the concern on his face and my talking about ffaldybrenin was not helping and there was the bus i haqd to catch.... i had to catch it... you see all this was lost on the dear man .... when i arrived at my destination GOD's timing was as always perfect.... i was at an out of the way location.... arriving to see the one person leaving for his car... there had been a change of venue and had i arrived later i would have been stranded with absolutely no information where or why!
i have a feeling he might have been God bothering for the next day.... well let me first tell you about the evening... i got stuck i felt a bit at the mercy of others but maybe worst of all myself ... hey thi is part of the course.... i was feeling very self conscious about there had been tensions... in fact tensions galore...between me and more than one other person.... and i felt conscious this was not a good place... so GOD sorted stuff... so at least with one there were communications which was great!... and the other... began singing for them a favourite song which was very much a Gospel song they got another glass of wine.... the body of Cjhrist no the blood of Christ they raised the glass ...AMEN hallelujah from me!.... my pockets were emptied a bible that condemns us they said that was pretty religious to have a bible ... so help me Lord .. and something about showing a bit of Heaven? a favourite song .... smile from me! i talk about the Holy Spirit what is that... the presence of GOD .. so hug with them and then....not that GOD crap... smile from me GOD BLESS you for the second time....
i am tryihnt to tell the story about a song that haunyted me through years 'by my side' from Godspell... which i didn't know what it was called or where it was from only that it haunted me the feeble memory of snatches of the words here and there and a bit of tune not enough to actually sing the song even.... interestingly there was a song that i could sing in its entirety and oddly i remember doing that many years ago... i was in a house alone feeling very transitory when i just couldn't stop myself heartfelt sing 'day by day' wow! you see you look back on this and remember and that how odd that the only songs kept staying with you in odd moments of distress that somehow kept track somewheree were GOD songs... i couldn't call myself a christian as such i believed somehow in a god out there but ... and yes it was a bit weird and scarey ..... today i said to someone pretty mych the only conversation i have had and that with a christian.... about kindof reflecting on my relationship with Jesus... you see i was going through one door they were going hte other way and i had just had this moment a really special one... there was me not being in church watching folks hurrying cos they were late and not wanting to miss.... and it was like i could remember me being that like it was really important to be there on tiume to poise and pose to go literally through the motions cos it was important ... man was i hungry and out of sorts? and clutching ... clinging to my ... hey you know we don't have to prove to anyone anything .... and here was i now watching stuff and actually picking stuff from folks walking past so i was praying about that... and there not being in church and pretty much avoiding christians and christianity... 'come with me'... i looked up and smiled the sun was making a rare appearance... i smiled refreshed because you know what i felt that i knew what that meant... from when i first saw that in a charismatic setting years ago... i felt glad at ease relieved there was i alone without the trappings of this and that person... this and that setting and it was like i was preparing for that moment... and along with doing ythis or that or not doing this... i just understood that something had shifted and i was .... everyone has a journey and the day previous had been an odd one... i said that someone had been God bothering... i kept bumping into folks and having these precious conversations... being invited by someone to come to my own church... GOD has been busy though making sure i am reminded of the imagery and significances.... i have sat doing stuff... and listened to thye drone of voices... two vips having a prayer meeting...and just not wanting to join them.... but paying attention to the moments of the fall of the Holy Spirit... i mention that to one of them... they are kindof nonplussed well it is me that's saying that they say they noticed too... what i wanted to say thoubgh was yeah but what about the places the Holy Spirit was well.... we all have this and it is thoroughly annoying you know you can shout as loud as you like and hey the Holy Spirit falls but why? cos of what we say... ie our what theology our humanness? but if you are listening wh8ich bit of all that is the Holy man... in truth Holy is Holy and man is man and where Holy comes into man Praise the Lord! ... i had an odd experience though one of theose non churchijg sundays... i checked out tjhe video collection.. and there was this one ... 1955 danish about a family struggling under a religious fanatic something like that i mean just up your street.. i was in 2 minds but hey let's give it a go... oh it has a title 'Ordet' black and white with subtitles and a very odd film indeed... my sermon perhaps.. and man oh man was it! fantastic ! for a kaleidoscope of theologies all under one canister clashing away provoking thought it seems a shame to give it away .... by saying too much .... but you know what it had me shaking away and smack in my eyes ... after what felt like a slow and rather tedious start... i watched it all cos well i had nothing to better to do with a sunday?.... it's like GOD has been looking out for me and ... i have been looking out for GOD!... it;s been a week where this man and GOD thing are so boringly seperate.. and i have been challenged... the thing is... hey me is going to go now see yah later still catching up..
ok here i am again unable to get where i want to in more ways than one ... with loads to catch up on....
let's start with what's on my mind.... i have been bunking everything but i am not alone.... on weds i sat in a cafe GOD got me to do so and i am next to a dear lady who chats to me i ask her if she is going to church she clearly does this is an exciting week for christians... she only goes to the sunday service these days... for the GOOD NEWS! i kind of like that... like what is the point of the rest of it?.... well the Holy week leaves like a smoke drifting around that settles in the atmosphere this is very different from other jhholidays yesterday evening everywhere was sooo peaceful..... i bunked housegroup oh and the vigil and last supper and
and today too... i miss the walk of witness and the morning and afternoon services... i am pondering this it's true i woke up late but there i am in the afternoon and i can see folks going into a nearby church and me i is i don't want to... i am so enjoying my solitude....
earlier in the week oh was it oh yes it was ... weds i was at a bus stop standing there and i saw a church leader coming my way who i hadn'tseen fo r a while... we chatted i explained that i had not been in church much for a while i was waiting for a bus and was already late and i was scratching the surface and i could see the concern on his face and my talking about ffaldybrenin was not helping and there was the bus i haqd to catch.... i had to catch it... you see all this was lost on the dear man .... when i arrived at my destination GOD's timing was as always perfect.... i was at an out of the way location.... arriving to see the one person leaving for his car... there had been a change of venue and had i arrived later i would have been stranded with absolutely no information where or why!
i have a feeling he might have been God bothering for the next day.... well let me first tell you about the evening... i got stuck i felt a bit at the mercy of others but maybe worst of all myself ... hey thi is part of the course.... i was feeling very self conscious about there had been tensions... in fact tensions galore...between me and more than one other person.... and i felt conscious this was not a good place... so GOD sorted stuff... so at least with one there were communications which was great!... and the other... began singing for them a favourite song which was very much a Gospel song they got another glass of wine.... the body of Cjhrist no the blood of Christ they raised the glass ...AMEN hallelujah from me!.... my pockets were emptied a bible that condemns us they said that was pretty religious to have a bible ... so help me Lord .. and something about showing a bit of Heaven? a favourite song .... smile from me! i talk about the Holy Spirit what is that... the presence of GOD .. so hug with them and then....not that GOD crap... smile from me GOD BLESS you for the second time....
i am tryihnt to tell the story about a song that haunyted me through years 'by my side' from Godspell... which i didn't know what it was called or where it was from only that it haunted me the feeble memory of snatches of the words here and there and a bit of tune not enough to actually sing the song even.... interestingly there was a song that i could sing in its entirety and oddly i remember doing that many years ago... i was in a house alone feeling very transitory when i just couldn't stop myself heartfelt sing 'day by day' wow! you see you look back on this and remember and that how odd that the only songs kept staying with you in odd moments of distress that somehow kept track somewheree were GOD songs... i couldn't call myself a christian as such i believed somehow in a god out there but ... and yes it was a bit weird and scarey ..... today i said to someone pretty mych the only conversation i have had and that with a christian.... about kindof reflecting on my relationship with Jesus... you see i was going through one door they were going hte other way and i had just had this moment a really special one... there was me not being in church watching folks hurrying cos they were late and not wanting to miss.... and it was like i could remember me being that like it was really important to be there on tiume to poise and pose to go literally through the motions cos it was important ... man was i hungry and out of sorts? and clutching ... clinging to my ... hey you know we don't have to prove to anyone anything .... and here was i now watching stuff and actually picking stuff from folks walking past so i was praying about that... and there not being in church and pretty much avoiding christians and christianity... 'come with me'... i looked up and smiled the sun was making a rare appearance... i smiled refreshed because you know what i felt that i knew what that meant... from when i first saw that in a charismatic setting years ago... i felt glad at ease relieved there was i alone without the trappings of this and that person... this and that setting and it was like i was preparing for that moment... and along with doing ythis or that or not doing this... i just understood that something had shifted and i was .... everyone has a journey and the day previous had been an odd one... i said that someone had been God bothering... i kept bumping into folks and having these precious conversations... being invited by someone to come to my own church... GOD has been busy though making sure i am reminded of the imagery and significances.... i have sat doing stuff... and listened to thye drone of voices... two vips having a prayer meeting...and just not wanting to join them.... but paying attention to the moments of the fall of the Holy Spirit... i mention that to one of them... they are kindof nonplussed well it is me that's saying that they say they noticed too... what i wanted to say thoubgh was yeah but what about the places the Holy Spirit was well.... we all have this and it is thoroughly annoying you know you can shout as loud as you like and hey the Holy Spirit falls but why? cos of what we say... ie our what theology our humanness? but if you are listening wh8ich bit of all that is the Holy man... in truth Holy is Holy and man is man and where Holy comes into man Praise the Lord! ... i had an odd experience though one of theose non churchijg sundays... i checked out tjhe video collection.. and there was this one ... 1955 danish about a family struggling under a religious fanatic something like that i mean just up your street.. i was in 2 minds but hey let's give it a go... oh it has a title 'Ordet' black and white with subtitles and a very odd film indeed... my sermon perhaps.. and man oh man was it! fantastic ! for a kaleidoscope of theologies all under one canister clashing away provoking thought it seems a shame to give it away .... by saying too much .... but you know what it had me shaking away and smack in my eyes ... after what felt like a slow and rather tedious start... i watched it all cos well i had nothing to better to do with a sunday?.... it's like GOD has been looking out for me and ... i have been looking out for GOD!... it;s been a week where this man and GOD thing are so boringly seperate.. and i have been challenged... the thing is... hey me is going to go now see yah later still catching up..